Crazy Makes Me Normal By Default

Politics, Polidicks, Pile Of Dicks

2012-01-08T08:46:00.000-08:00

Cynics like myself die simply because there is nothing new, and we cannot make changes so we bitch, and complain hoping the next generation will figure out how fucked up the game is. The new is really the same old oldies reconditioned as some new advertising. I am a failure. I am not a third generation billionaire who can fight the greedy minions that all convince themselves they deserve what they own.

Let's all continue to wait for the system to break, so that the billionaires can pick up the pieces and cash in on that too. Don't worry about bigfoot, free masons, sharia law, ancient aliens, ghosts, stock market crashes, or secret technology hidden at area 51 because when the authentic proverbial fit hits the shan it'll make for a great t-shirt slogan.

According to Rick (anal drippings) Santorum the Mexican Cartel is willing to let Al Quada fuck up their $20 billion cash cow flow of drugs into the US.
Apparently America needs 2-dimensional Hollywood style good verse bad team-spirited to get Americans mad. In today's pile of dicks -politicians use Hollywood logic to warn us of how bad guys join other bad guys, to become doubled super duper bad guys waiting for Rambo to save the day. Don't worry, Ameri-Cans Rambo will chop the bad guys in half with a Browning M2 after the commercial break with a commercial from a bank showing us an athletically fit young woman climbing to the top of a mountain pillar, demonstrating to us how free we could all be if only we buy into the system.
Yes, and with pop culture this fucked up people actually wonder why Americans need $20 billion worth of mind altering drugs? I think its pretty obvious why people are sick of this country's bullshit, and many find escape with illegal mood altering substances.

For now lets all enjoy our squabbling fun until the entertainment industry kills its top competitor (Us, & the internet) with SOPA, or PIPA because if you can't hold up an erection on your own simply write laws forbidding such a fun sport.

In case you don't know SOPA, and PIPA are laws trying to be passed in congress by lobbyist from the entertainment industry, several companies, and pharmaceutical companies under the claim of stopping online piracy which it would not stop, but in turn only punish America's internet edge while the pirating from foreign countries continue. It is censorship on a level not seen since Hitler was in power, but worse.

How about this for an idea Hollywood, and Pharmaceutical companies, how about instead of trying to kill every form of free expression try competing with it on the same levels by doing away with your own corporate censorship, and censorship for lazy parents who expect Hollywood to teach their children morals? How about instead of telling us lies about what to think and feel, how about being honest? Tired of news organizations giving you stories that don't make any sense because it is not in their corporate sponsorships' best interest to tell you the whole story that actually connects the dots, and points the fingers at the companies reeking havoc worldwide so that the rest of America can live delusionally enslaved?

This country's problems are not as simple as right or left. No singular obstacle can take all of the blame, or none. There are many parts of our economic troubles none of which is greater or less important. There are less jobs available to Americans, and pay rates have slowly decreased since the 70s while cost of living has increased much higher since. To blame any 1 single element is all show business, and false advertising. We're living on credit we don't have; depending on poor people in other countries to do the work for us while pretending living conditions here aren't getting worse, and that other countries haven't learned that the United States is the top competitor to beat. Our dysfunctional country is wired too badly to fix. Our system is built on lies on top of more lies made to fail as the greedy control every aspect for their benefit which hurts most everyone else more than it helps. The greedy don't fix broken pipelines until after families die and the story is exposed. They don't fix parts of the our planet Earth that they damage. They don't refund us for stealing what is ours. The greedy cover up their crimes, and get away with every unimaginable crime possible, tax funded.

Many older generations of America will protest, and scream foul at such blatantly gruesome honesty because they're still deluded & lazy old fucks still living in a dream world, but I have a feeling that many of us are ready for change since most of us know "The American Dream" is a fairy tale cooked up in corporate ad campaign board rooms.
Our purpose is foggy. Our dreams are false bland advertising.

I'm getting bored with this dulled vision our America has perpetuated, you?

Jesus, I'm So Jealous

2011-11-05T02:09:00.000-07:00

Since as long as I can remember growing up I was told that Jesus loves me, and about all of his stories. To this day I'm still surrounded by people telling me of his love, his sacrifice, and his wisdom. I'm told that if I pray to him that I'll feel his wisdom, and I will no longer feel lonely. That if I ask for him to come into my life, that he will make himself known. Perhaps after some tragedy, or some deadly medical condition I'll need prayer, and then he will grace me with his love, and guidance.
Well, for one thing, I feel lonely mostly because everyone I've known all of my life has talked about him so much. My Grandmother that died, wouldn't talk to me about anything but Jesus. My Mom also doesn't have much to talk about unless its Jesus and how much I should let him enter my life. Sometimes I feel lonely, and while casually surfing random images of women known & unknown of my Facebook, noticing that they're all thanking Jesus. They all talk about feeling fulfilled because they have Jesus in their heart. On my FB Jesus has all the single & married women's attention.

So now I must ask, what the fuck is this guy doing that he has all of the attention from so many women that surround my life? He must be a pretty fucking awesome dude. I get complaints for forgetting things sometimes, and maybe making mistakes, but this Jesus guy, I never see him around, but the women seem to love him, and credit him for everything. Am I jealous? Fuck yeah! Seriously, where is this guy, and what the fuck is he doing, to gather up all of the women's attention? Does he keep his belly button free of lint? Does he have minty fresh breath? Are his abs nice and tight? Does he always properly position the toilet seat & lid before & after he urinates?

Many people have told me that he sacrificed his life for our sins, but then he came back to life a few days later, so technically he didn't really sacrifice much since he was back on Earth 'pimpin' a few days later. Sure the beatings were rough, but he was supposedly completely healed a few days later. He had new clothes, sandals, and everything. I think some have said he was cleaned up too. Hair all neatly combed, and clean shaven.
I just don't know. As far as most women I've seen he is the Mac-Daddy of men, and yet I've never see him but in paintings, and statues. He doesn't seem to be much of a charming conversationalist, in my opinion. No one has ever even told me of any witty jokes he has ever told.

Anyways, my favorite drink is Monster Energy Killer-B. I absolutely love it more than any drink I've ever discovered. It tastes like no other energy drink. Sort of like lemon meringue pie or key-lime pie with a hint of powdered sugar & honey.The distributor Coke, has decided to stop stocking Killer-B. I think they're jealous. So 2 nights ago I drove all night to convenience stores from Houma, to Baton Rouge to find the last few chilled Killer-Bs on shelves. I think I stopped at over 20 stores. I asked Jesus to help me find some on the next 2 stops, but I didn't. It was about 4 or 5 stops later that did find 8 Killer-Bs. I abruptly told Jesus that I wouldn't talk shit about him anymore if I'd found some on the next stop, and I didn't so technically I can still talk shit about him if I want to. 4 or 5 later doesn't count, but I have to admit that at the 20th-something store, the last one I'd found them at I was getting very tired, and I was about to give up. Some might say it was luck, others might say it was divine intervention. I don't know. All that I know is that I love the drink, and like always if I love it I'll have to buy it online because my many pleas with store managers hasn't worked. Frustrating? YES!

So life goes on. Another cold Winter headed my way, and I'm feeling lonely surrounded by family all thanking Jesus. I swear I wish I had even a little of the attention this guy gets with the ladies. He is a lucky bastard.

In the meantime, here's a song I dig....

If I don't blog again before...Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New year....

Trepidatious Me Vs. Conquest Me

2011-08-17T19:52:00.000-07:00

Confident Me: Do you wanna be famous?

Heartfelt Me: Yes! Of course, but what should I do?

Confident Me: Spit out all of your material, and dumb it down. Sacrifice art for quick money until you become sick of people using your work as common junkfood catch-phrases. Lose privacy. Pretend to be likable to all. Anyone else that is indifferent - Crush them! WIN!

Heartfelt Me: But I don't want to give up who I am, or dumb it down. I don't want to crush anyone just to get to the top....

Confident Me: So you really don't want to win do you?

Heartfelt Me: Well, yes of course I do, but....is that the only way for me to win? To dumb it down and crush the rest?

Confident Me: Yes....So do you want to win, or not?

Heartfelt Me: Well yes, but I don't want to crush anyone, I don't want to dumb it down...I want everyone to win.

Confident Me: Well that's really sad, but you can't win that way. I'm sorry. Winners can't be bothered with what happens to the losers, or what happens to their "originality". Making it to the top means crushing everyone else below you. Pretending to better no matter what.
Name examples of any famous, or successful people of whom you think hasn't had to crush other people to get to where they are.

Heartfelt Me: Oprah Winfrey?

Confident Me: Nope. For years she demanded that her syndicated company never allow any other black women to have a syndicated TV talk show. She threatened to leave her company if they did. Think of all of the successful black women crushed from having the chance to win the spotlight. Think of all of the black women she had to crush to be #1.

Heartfelt Me: Arnold Schwarzenegger?

Confident Me: Oh, please. Don't get me started on him. He's stepped on lots of people. He has just been really good at covering it up. Next?

Heartfelt Me: Obama?

Confident Me: Hah!....I'm a diehard Democrat. He's been implementing all of the dumbed down Republican solutions since he took office. Obama Care, was engineered by Republicans! He has crushed lots of the people that had hope in him. Just stop already, and find someone whose successful but hasn't caved, or covered up who they've had to crush.

Heartfelt Me: I don't know of anyone like that.

Confident Me: Yes, and I win....

Heartfelt Me: But, we're both one in the same so we both actually lose.

Heartfelt Less- Confident Me: *sigh* Yeah, I know....sucks.

Drowning In Obviousness

2011-08-01T01:13:00.000-07:00

Yes as I'm getting older, and feeling it I'm again seeing all of the old repeat itself again, so clearly. The vibe? Oh, that the old people screwed up culture. That now it is time for a younger generation to take control. To be louder, and cut the distracting metaphors & bullshit. We're so upfront, and outspoken. To cut the shit, and get to the point. Right?

You're a teenage anarchist young, wild, and free.... Besides you've got a job at the car wash and cash to blow on alcohol, and weed for the party. The women don't care who you are, or what you are. We know that's all bullshit anyway. They just want a tall shinny guy who looks good, healthy, doesn't stink, doesn't seem awkward, or say things that make no sense. Shut up, be cool, let them fantasize about you being the perfect one night stand.

Well, you're grown up now, and we're treating society much the same way - AGAIN. Don't use big words. Big words are for loser fags who cannot get laid. We're grown ups now. We're smarter, and we're going to fixed this fucked up society by voting for people that say things louder, like we're at that party trying to score ****y. We all believe that if we all agree that our prayers will be heard, that those prays will in fact be heard. Don't fuck with our religion, you stuffy old fuckers. We've got to fix this country. We need less Government so we can fight the terrorists. We should cut off out own infrastructure completely, starve the stupid poor until they die so we can continue to pump billions more into other countries until our country completely falls apart. Isn't that what the terrorists wanted, anyway? For us to deplete our own country from the inside until it completely falls apart?

Yes, we're all fucking grown up now aren't we?

RED ALERT!!! Captain:" Set course directly for the middle of the sun! WARP 10!"

2011-07-26T22:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the obvious is so obvious that I stand befuckled that people could possibly draw any opposite conclusions to what would seem so apparent to even a small child.
The budget debates in US's Washington DC have gone on for months now debating "entitlement" programs. Currently the Republicans continue to blow the loudest horns swaying people's opinions to oppose what's in their best interest.
Raising the debt ceiling is a simple function in which our congress & the President restructure interest rates to keep our country from obvious default, and complete financial disaster. The Republicans feel the (billionaire funded) need to use this mundane obvious function to hold Democrats, the President and the entire country hostage as ransom that if they don't get their cuts (with no tax hikes to billionaires) they'll most likely let the entire country's economy collapse in on itself.

This would be the worst economic disaster since the 1930s Great Depression. If the country defaults, poor people, disabled, and everyone else (except billionaires) would be severely effected within a month. Several months ago Rush Limbaugh (funded by billionaires) declared to his listeners that a US default would be no big deal to America. That nothing significant would happen, and of course much of America's dependability in this fat jackass, has led much of America's people to believe him and doubt the most obvious.
Yes, much America believes that the way to solve our country's financial problems is to let it crash. I am not over exaggerating, or making this up. Most Americans honestly don't know what's going on, or that Republicans are actually causing most all of the problems just to prove that a Democratic black skinned President can allow the country to become worse.
These Republicans are responsible for millions of American lives, and these Republicans are acting like small children trying to get the best deal at a used car lot no matter how destructive the ramifications would be to most of America. Not kidding, not exaggerating, not making this up.
Bratty Republican snobs preaching their same old :" Live, or die" philosophy that never accounts for anyone but their own back pockets.

So?!?! Will America remember who is more concerned about making a point to toy with possible disaster, than their lives when it comes election time again? I'd like to think so, but considering how many I've noticed are routing for complete collapse as the magic 8 ball says:" Outlook, not good."

What is this feeling in the air?

2011-06-20T03:25:00.000-07:00

My friend G, and I met in Junior High School. He was a shy kid that sat behind me in biology mumbling incoherent jokes I couldn't understand without a frame of reference. We weren't friends yet, but at the time he was venturing out as naive teens do to mingle with the party crowd, and experiment with drugs I'd never imagined doing. We failed that year, and ended up alphabetically sitting in the same sitting arrangement the following year in another science class.
One day he called me up told me he'd gotten a joint, and I called another friend. I'd managed to get the car keys, and we drove to the sugar cane fields. It was one of those funny moments where after we shared puffs it was quiet as we drove out and we all abruptly burst into loud laughter, for no apparent reason. Suddenly everything was funny for no reason. Before we were worried about getting caught, and what each of us thought, but then didn't matter. That evening I drove us everywhere for no reason.

Now we're older adults most with families, but not me. G is now a local police officer, and a family man with his wife, and daughter. Strange seeing a friend who I'd once tried to dodge cops with is now a cop himself, but he's a good man always likable.

A few weeks ago, when we were all scared of being flooded there was a shooting in town. My friend G was an unfortunate first responder on the scene. Apparently a local fool in a jealous rage shot his ex-girlfriend, and himself at a local seafood restraint in the middle of the day. Extremely rare occurrence for the area. I suppose the mania of flooding could have led to crazy shit for crazy people. Who knows? Not I. G told me that when he'd gotten there the bodies were still twitching, suds pumping out of her chest womb, and their heads completely splattered like ground beef on the floor. He said he did his job focused on the task, but that it hit him later when he got home. He said seeing someone's brain got him thinking about how fragile life is. I told him I could never do that kind of work. Such sights would stay with me forever, and poison my brain for life. I could never fathom why someone would take their own life. I can't understand taking your own life over any one woman.
I've always seen life as fragile. Well, most of it. I guess when I was a kid sometimes I thought spirits watched over us making certain evils didn't happen. After my Dad died that all changed. Sometimes I feel something is watching me, but I can't describe it. I've been so lucky on so many jobs to avoid any damage.

The weekend before the shooting we were all worried about the possibility of flooding, losing our homes and people were getting happy appreciating what we had. I noticed extra complements from women at stores, and restraints, wondering if I looked cuter that weekend or if it was the Spring's yellow sunlight that made me appear more vibrant. There was a local Newscast in the town earlier that week before bragging that the cold strong winds in the middle of Spring was a sign that spirits were actually trying to keep the water flowing south away from our town. Then there was the shooting 3 days after that weekend, and the mood in the air abruptly changed. Was it just my imagination? I felt a sense that something had changed even before I'd heard about the shooting. An energy in the air. Even the bad energy brought on a sense that something was different. I don't know how to describe it. The uneasiness brought on something that I've felt before but only on rare occasions. We're all fleshy things with muscles & organs hanging on skeletons walking around thinking nothing is ever going to change, and when something does it can be felt in the air without even saying it. What is this feeling in the air that can't be explained? How is this possible? What is it?

Purpose & Reason

2011-06-19T07:34:00.000-07:00

What is it going to take to piss you people off?

2011-05-07T01:59:00.000-07:00

Godsdammit...I swear, I'm trying so hard to break the pattern without actually saying I'm trying to break the pattern. You see, if I delete this blog, I'll just let it build up, rebuild the blog, and come right back. I only have you 2 to 3, steady readers, and knowing you'll comment keeps me coming back. The last 2 to 3 posts were really designed to piss off you the readers...I typed a huge rant bashing feminism convinced this would scare readers away for good...BUT NO!!!!
I could have posted a couple of images of women's vaginas in close up in high resolution but I figured its more torturous to have you read a big page full of incoherent repetitive babbling complaints. Did it work? Did it scare you readers away? NOOOOO!
Godsdammit!!!
Once again I am left with the daunting task of finding more ways to piss off my small readership to break my addictive pattern. I'm wondering if there is anything I can do to piss readers off, not including direct verbal personal attacks. I might feel guilty about that..Hmmmmmm...Nah.
I promise, I shall continue to find more ways to piss you people off that you'll hate my guts. I'm wanting you to hate me, I really really am. I'm not lying, I really really do. It is perhaps the only way that I can stop...I think.

As far as my views on feminism, I'm not exactly keen to them but I actually don't think about it all that much. My flash drives are loaded with enough porn to last me for years, but my imagination is so much better. Recently I'd seen an idiot on You Tube complaining about feminists trying to stop porn, and I thought, that's a perfect way to piss off my readers! I thought, no one will comment on that. They'll leave this blog to rot in it's on smelly rotted filth. But no.

It is my hope that I'll post something that really pisses off the readers, and you'll hate me so much that I'll be left pleading for you to come back. So, in my continuing efforts, here you are. I've googled images of pooping cats...

.

Alright, Screw It

2011-05-02T14:42:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I am apprehensive. Maybe I just need to space it out a bit.

Getting old sucks

2011-04-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

I want to kill this online existence. In reality I'm alone, and all of my friends are married, have kids, or don't care. Tired tired tired of this routine, this shell of a should a- coulda - woulda, but didn't.

My Dad fought in Vietnam, was a Marine for over 5 years, came back home to discover his cajun family hadn't saved a dime he'd sent back. Proving it is nearly impossible to start with nothing. He came back to the US, having to ride a bike, became an alcoholic, got married, worked as a welder until his lungs became poisoned with aluminum. He spent the last 17 years of his life attached to an oxygen hose panting for air after taking more than 10 steps. If there is one thing I learned, it was that hard work will kill you and no will care. No one admires the losers. He wanted me to finish where he left off. It seemed to be the only thing that made him happy. Life goes on celebrating famous people that really don't care. Why should they really? I don't blame them. Human wasteland, disgusting. Living to buy plastic junk, chemically modified edible substances and refinance dept. Greedy fucks hording money so they can brag about the stupid shit they wasted it on. Want to humor me with bragging rights? Buy a pill that explodes, and melts your body into cat-food - that'll impress me much.

I'm sorry I drug you in here. I'm non-violent, so don't worry. I'm also an expert at leaving people alone. For those of you that have given me your attention, I very much appreciated it, and I've probably thought 'imagined' more about you than I'll ever be able to admit to or be able thank you for, but you've got to understand how much I hate my own poison.
I'm tired. Tried to delete this blog 4 or 5 times. I keep rebuilding it, and coming back. I fucking hate it. I'm alone, and I don't like what this, and my world has become. I hate the failed caricature of myself I've become. Getting old is disgusting, vile, ugly, hopelessness eating itself - pooping itself, and eating itself again repeating the cycle endlessly until I've become bored/drained of it. I don't fit in anywhere. I'm literally too short. Don't have the social skills to please the careless strangers dumbing themselves with old failed ideas no one cares to implement. I'm too lazy. Originality is an oxymoron seasoned with ignorance. If I had a choice of living in a this world, or another with only a few people that worked to understand our nature of existence I'd choose the latter. People pretend to care, but most that I've known in person really don't. The only thing they care about is not caring. Again, I don't blame them. Living to enjoy another 10 second orgasm, or another spurt of adrenalin. This is the retched feast of our existence. Most want to be left alone. Understandable. Make them happy so that they'll leave you alone. Being alone is great until you feel smothered by it, and want people to acknowledge your existence. I'm not nice enough. I'm tired of being a should've of been. I'm too old, too lazy to take pride in trivial jokes that retro old entertainment puns. Too tired to recreate another distraction. Let me sip my coffee, I'll feel better, later.

Perhaps I should have lived to bring a kid into this retched world, and enjoyed the kid's new found ignorance of it. NO! Hell no. I'm tired. Disgusted through & through with everything. Guilt, so much of it. I hate life, but I love me.
Happy birthday me, Thursday the 21st. My palm reading, and psychic Indian chat buddy suggests that I have a long life a head of me.........fuck.

Violent Childhood Memories

2011-04-10T20:50:00.000-07:00

First week of Kindergarten recess before class we were escorted to the playground, teased by first graders that we weren't allowed to climb the monkey bars. A sweaty fat kid sitting on second rung of the 5 layered square monkey bars told us to get loss. Other Kindergarteners threw clumps of wet muddy grass at him,so he got down and said he was going to beat our ass. This was the first time I'd ever heard a kid my age curse. When he got down I laughed at his largeness and was unfortunately the closest to him. He got up close to me pressing is sweaty stinky gray t-shit up against my face, but before I could get away he repeatedly punched me in the head, so I ran in circles screaming, head throbbing at which point I then I saw another kid I didn't like. This kid had been mean to several girls, and myself. He was standing under the slide, so I broke from my circular course and headed straight for him head first. Our skulls clashed a loud clunk - pock! We both fell backwards to the hard dry cracked clay dirt. He cried, and whimpered . A teacher pulled us up and I told her it was an accident. My cousin Tiffany exclaimed:" NO! He did it on purpose, I saw him!" The teacher made us both kneel along with the other Kindergartners throwing grass at the fat bully. I asked Tiffany:" Didn't you see the fat boy punching me?" " No, but you probably deserved it." she replied. "You were being sassy."

Lesson one: Don't trust girls, especially cousins.

Dream 04 - 09 - 2011

2011-04-09T09:59:00.000-07:00

This is purely for my own recollection in an attempt to record a vivid dream, and compare with possible occurrence of future events. Attempt to list as many details as I can remember.

I was walk in an narrow building ( no interior lights on, lots of opened windows, or openings in the walls, after a gathering both night, then day. A male, with a gun of some sort outside, possible even a long extended power tool - black, faded gun. As I walked through the building I noticed perfectly cut golf ball size holed in the floor 3, in groups together that the middle of the plywood flooring. The hole went through the floor with thin plywood. Top and bottom plywood spaced between a 2 inch piece of wood. The ground, shown well lit could be seen through the holes. Lots of green grass on the ground. Cloudy light, but well lit.
I assumed the person outside created the holes with the gun. I was briefly convinced he was a shooter, on a suicide mission. I felt a sense of danger, that wasn't acknowledged by anyone that I needed to make others aware, and warn them of him but not allow him to be aware of me. I was concerned that my friend Mike's place had been damaged. The building was off the ground several feet on cinder blocks, possibly even an upstairs rooms (daytime) possibly close to the weekend or on a Saturday.
The sight of the perfectly cut circular holes was a cause for sudden alarm, that the person outside was dangerous, shooting holes in the floor. This could be my own distorted perception of the events. There had been quite a bit of night time activity before I saw the person outside, on what appeared to black faded plywood on the ground, between 2 narrow buildings.

There was a sense of familiarity of the 2 buildings, that reminded me of a house from long ago in my imagination. High ceiling, awkward windows at the top of the roof peak.

There was a familiarity to the people there, mostly young men but I could not identify anyone. They gathered that the front of the trucks. Some young men appeared to have been in high school with me, or reminded me of people from the time of my highschool years.

I had the strong sense that people were gathered around a few trucks parked forward perpendicular pointing towards the 2 narrow buildings on the outer right side from my angle in the first building with holes in the floor. The building had several rooms, much of it ripped apart, or loosely constructed with thin panel. I was walking away from the person outside.

I was wearing jeans, short sleeves with a jacket over. My shoes didn't look familiar.

This could have been hurricane recovery construction. I did get a strong sense of concern for my friend Mike that he had suffered some damage to his house, that this building was similar to his or near by. My concern was again echoed at night time, that there was damage to him, and others he knew. But I also got a sense that my worry was a false alarm, as others weren't bothered.

The weather felt comfortable, slight breeze. Sunny, and cloudy at times. Birds chirp, nearby forest. The 2 buildings angled perpendicular to the forest edge. Lots of open area to the right of the 2 buildings. Open road further. A few passing cars.

This particular dream did not have a pace I could keep up with. I continued to try to regain my awareness of the location, and surroundings but events confused me. Night, then day, then night again perhaps even a recurrence of the first night, with again, people gathered in cars, and outside.

The Before Times

2011-04-05T23:33:00.000-07:00

Never forget, no matter what. Will they believe me? Will anyone else ever admit to the same feelings? They won't believe you. They'll tell themselves I'm crazy, that it's all made up, or created in the dreams of a childlike mind. Suit themselves. Doesn't matter if they believe me because it is the feeling that is important to me. The very fond memory that sent goose bumps up my tiny arms, and down my little legs. Not scary, but the realization that its true, and all too familiar.
For as long as I can remember my childhood memories have been quite clear. Most people don't believe me when I can recall the stinging pain of a circumcision brought on by the 2 blurry figures blocking the light over me. Looking at them through these blurry bubbly eyes is difficult enough but watching them do it isn't painful at all.
You're also not supposed to remember being pulled away from her nipple because your teeth are sticking out more, and the tones of their voices at that moment.

I'll kick these loudly because I don't want to be here anymore. I shattered them because these legs worked fine, but I much rather when I didn't need them. I remember the clanking sounds they made. Hollowed thin hard plastic, with rattling junky bells.

No I didn't want to be there anymore. I wanted to go back before but instead I kept getting bigger, and forgetting what it was like. They brought me a puppy. He was new like me, but didn't seem to remember much about the before times. He couldn't talk much either. His eyes told me lots about him though. I was jealous of him because he would be able to leave much sooner than I. I'm stuck here for a long time with distant visions stretching far into a future I can't remember as clearly anymore. You are the lucky one. Your purpose is already understood by you.
Lots of what you need to know is already taught to you. All that I can do is admire you, and hope you'll remember the before times with me.I started walking at 9 months but you in only a few weeks. I was hoping you could tell me more about the before times. They called him Snooky, but I called him Blacky. They enjoy making things complicated, and yet they don't remember the before times. But I remembered; even as I got bigger. I remembered the differences between dark, and light, and how to avoid both because both could suck you in. The dark was filled with old souls waiting to attach themselves, but the light was just as enticing with all of its senses that could allow you to interact with others. The smells, the touch, and the sights through this body was intoxicating. I'm not supposed to remember the before times, but I want to no matter what. I want to remember what it was like floating, watching them hold that thing I could attach myself to. I didn't really want to be stuck in it, because I knew that if I stayed too long I'd forget this, and become more of it. I would be stuck in it as long as it lived forgetting what I need to remember. The memory that still sent goose bumps across these limbs. Why did I choose these people? I'd watched them for quite some time. I don't think I chose them, so much as I chose him. That thing they're holding. I told myself that if I remember this that's all that will matter. So long as he remembers that I am, is, and was what he will be and never forget then perhaps I've gained some awareness to cheat the cycle. It will be difficult determining the difference between memories of the future or of the past but I must never forget that I chose to be here. Who would have chose this body had I not? More goose bumps.

Still I got older, but the feeling never went away. I couldn't explain it to people that there was a time before I looked through these blurry eyes when I floated to where ever I wanted, and traveled as slow as I wanted. When I could shrink smaller, and smaller to go anywhere. Different colors, different worlds, places, and completely different rules.

Never forget the feeling, and the goose bumps will follow.
It was probably all just a dream, right?
The subconscious attempting to manufacture an origin?

One Of My Cousins Will Be Killing Gators On History Channel

2011-03-20T03:40:00.000-07:00

Shamefully I haven't kept up with my Dad's side of the family much, so it'll be strange watching TV to find out about my cousin. I fondly remember Liz as a kid. She was more like a sweet big sister to me, but VERY tough. She loved intimidating men of all ages, so it'll be fun to see how she does her own thing on TV. I remember when I was a young kid her, and her brother let me shoot a gator once. Wasn't the best shot. I shot a little too late as it was ducking into the water, and the water caused force on the impacting bullet making the gator kill not so messy. I shot it between the eyes, but it was supposed to be a bit further back. I remember her Dad chewing her out because of my bad shot.

I know a lot of people are against hunting in general, and I understand the complaints. I'm not particularly a fan of hunting, but I might have been had I taken more to my Dad's side of the family. These people truly believe in living on the land, and hunting for their own food. While I understand lots of people might think it's pointless, I also have a great respect for them and their traditions. They don't try to live outside of the means.

Click this image by www.poptower.com to see her better.

A lot of true Cajun traditions have died out, and today we think of Cajuns as people who get sloppy head drunk on New Orleans French Quarter on Bourbon Street , but that's really not at all what it was about. Real Cajuns were people that learned to survive on their own with no grocery stores, or processed foods, and in these tough economic times I'm glad someone is still keeping these knowledgeable skills alive.
Swamp People - Season Premiere Starts:
Thurs, Mar 31 at 9/8c on History Channel

My Cousin Liz on History Channel

Friday - Fried Egg

2011-03-17T22:18:00.000-07:00

Worst pop song. Just completely terrible. The song is shit.
Mid chorus break down lyrics:" Yesturday was Thursday, Today it is Friday. We we we we so excited...Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards." 2012 might as well be the end if this is what our culture has come to.

No, Let's Not Think About It

2011-03-08T22:58:00.000-08:00

Shall we attempt to pull it out on our own, ignoring the imminence throbbing pain that this sharp object has created by being jammed into our ocular cavity? Will you hear or feel the knocking, and tinkering in your skull as you attempt pulling it out?
Surely you don't want to think about it at all do you? No, of course not, but wouldn't trying not think about it eventually make you think more about it? The thought would creep up on you, and you would forever feel like a coward in constant fear trying to hide from it. Trying so hard to think about something else until you can't. So shouldn't we just think it all out as much as possible to exhaust continued torture from this morbidly terrifying dilemma which you'd hope to never deal with?
Have you ever tried hard not to do something, and shockingly it happened as much as you prepared yourself to not think about it? Let's not indulge in this insanity. Perhaps you should have convinced yourself that it could never have happened so we can move passed this disturbing quandary.
Normally your eyelashes have quick reflexes that allow enough time for that thin layer of skin eyelid to protect you. Remember ever getting hit in the head? Your hair offered some warning much like your eyelashes which usually give you a split blink to protect you, but not this time. Perhaps you tripped (too busy bracing yourself to fall to cover your eyes), or a freak accident while driving sends fast moving projectiles. No, let's not think about this. Doesn't matter how anymore. What do you do now? Pull it out? Seek help? How awkward is that going to be? You'll have to show other people how horrifyingly disgusting , and grotesque you are in order to seek their help. They'll forever remember seeing you with this blunt bloody object stuck in your head. You'll quite possibly forever be their worst sight ever seen. They'll spend the rest of their lives describing this horrid visual of you to everyone they know. So no, you should try to get it out yourself before shock sets in, and you die. I mean had you interrupted the other person, what were you supposed to do, or say? "Excuse me sir, I'm sorry, I know you're enjoying a latte and reading your paper, but I've got this thing stuck in my eye, in my head, can I beg your pardon to fetch me some medical help if you're not too busy?" Of course no words would be needed. Once they saw you, they'd immediately seek help for a medical emergency. But in the meantime are you just going to wait until you pass out while you're feeling the worst stabbing pain in your head that you've ever felt in your life? The pain so strong that ignoring it is impossible. You can't see it, but you can feel it stuck their. Pulling it out could cause more damage like twirling a fork in spaghetti, only the noddle would be in your head, scratching your brain. No Bennet, I don't want to think about this anymore. Well....fine then, but you're too late. ;)
Insert maniacal laughter...

Settling For Less Than Less

2011-02-28T21:16:00.000-08:00

So I had this image in my mind to design a new background for this blog, but when I tested it out I realized I'd have to reduce the resolution quality down to under 300k, which really pissed me off so much that I gave up so now this is all it is. The name was gonna be different, with rainbow splatters spaying out of the frog. But fuck it, I ~~am is~~ was pissed.
Then I realized that's exactly why I'm pissed off about a lot of things. I usually compromise, and settle for less than less of what I envisioned, or wanted. Does it really matter? May - maybe not. Sure I could purchase a blog, and do exactly what I want, but then I would actually have to make the blog more than what I originally wanted in the first place; which was something sort of just thrown together.
So anyways this is all it is.

Why did it matter? I don't know. I wanted something that sort of expressed a little bit of rage with our government reaching in an squeezing the life out of free expression. Something a little unique. I haven't Googled arms breaking through backgrounds to capture purple frogs yet, so it might not even be that original anyways. Pointless? Of course.

Have you ever had the feeling everything has already been done, and there really isn't anything new? Frustrated with feeling so bland forced to swallow regurgitated pop culture to the point that you really do wish the space aliens would invade?

This weekend I caught the movie The Sunset Limited on HBO, and surprisingly it actually made me realize I'm not the only person that sees life as an eventual path to closing every door until there is only one. Luckily for me, I'm still quite somewhat pleased with my own vanity so I'm in no way looking forward to an end as of yet. If you can sit through watching 2 men debate philosophies for 90 minutes, I highly recommend it.

Spring is here and the bees are zoning the yard. The sun, and weather has been quite beautiful lately so I'll settle with that.

I Blinded Him With Science

2011-02-09T13:32:00.000-08:00

A couple of years ago I tried to explain to an old friend of mine what M-Theory, or Super String Theory were, and he gave me an astonishingly odd look as if I were wacko, and asked me if I was referring to science fiction alien conspiracies. "No" I replied, and laughed. I said:" Where do you think science fiction writers got their ideas? These theories have been around since the mid 30s, with other parts of it long before then."
He still didn't grasp what I was saying, or why I felt such interest in it. However he attends a church weekly, and his kid is obsessed with Star Wars.
I'm tired of fighting religion, and I really don't care what anyone believes, but whatever it is you believe we should not allow ourselves to remain ignorant to the importance of science.
If we're not passionate about science, how can we expect to have a new generation that is also interested in it? It is important because science is the only tool that can move us forward.

Same old same old

2011-02-07T22:02:00.000-08:00

I hate doing politics so much lately but I was 1 of the many people pissed when a majority of Republicans won last November because I knew they had nothing to offer in terms of change or making anything better economically. I could go on & on, but Rachel Maddow makes the case perfectly.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Seriously, no one in office is actually doing anything that produces results. We can argue this that, or whatever, but nothing, NOT A THING is actually being done. Jobs is America's #1 concern, and no legislation is making changes to better this huge economic issue. So why do Americans continue to vote in people that do nothing? Well there is a #1 cable news channel spreading disinformation 24/7, simplifying complex stories into their own agenda to keep viewers angry, and fearful that their lives depend on watching in case disaster strikes any minute. Sometimes I think they want everything to collapses. They are swaying most of America to vote, and think in idiotic terms. Every time I watch Fox News I catch a distorted lie every 10 minutes. Most everyone I know on my Facebook has Fox News liked on their info page. I'm surrounded by people that are already filled with disinformation. Do I feel alone? Do I feel completely out of control, without a voice, or place of understanding? Do I feel powerless, rejected, and out of place in a world I don't fit into? YES!!!!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I AM A Portable Sex Machine

2011-02-04T23:58:00.000-08:00

According to this article on NPR it says xxxchurch is trying to bring awareness to porn addiction this Superbowl Sunday, and that your computer is a portable whore-house exposing you to things you could never imagine.(PHPHPHFFFFFTTTTTT!) So by this same logic my hand is also a portable whore-house, and an Asian massage lady I've neglected to tip.

I've causally looked at naked women, and not always become aroused, nor did I spend hours looking. Actually this has perplexed me with an interesting query which is what has motivated me more over the years? Was it money or the possibility of seeing naked women?
Many times it was money for necessities but also with the hopes of at some point seeing naked women.
This is a nature we as humans need to question deeper instead of viewing the world as a field of landmines full of poison. We humans have been here for a long time with conditions most suitable to our growth.

Recently I dreamed I was with a naked woman, and she was slippery greasy all over. I told her I didn't look at her area which was untrimmed, and neatly patted down sleek. We kissed, and slid to the bed for a very slippery experience.

So now even my brain is a portable HD 3D video porn shop with a realistic virtual reality experience and free lubrication...What should I do?????

Knock Knock, - Whose Their? - Mubarak A Go - Mubarak A Go Who? - Mubarak A Go KABOOM!

2011-02-04T22:56:00.000-08:00

This is my mock up of what could be in the near future for The Egyptian Dictator. Forget the Superbowl, whose in a betting mood? Odds? I don't know.
I tried to think of a top 10 list of ways to out an evil dictator but only had 1 besides the above image.

#10. Change Dictator Mubarak's inlet water supply with city sewage outlet drainage pipe.

Feel free to ponder more. Unfortunately that's all I've got for the moment.

It was either post this of complain about cable news, so I went with this instead.

Simple Summary In Pictures

2011-01-25T22:53:00.000-08:00

Entertainment or not someone is not doing their basic homework.

No Not Rhetoric

2011-01-23T22:15:00.000-08:00

Mr. President I think it is pretty obvious whose goals you've reached in the passed 2 years.

Click image to view large, feel free to use where ever.

I'll do my Information Society kick, and I'll be fine

2011-01-18T21:17:00.000-08:00

Everyone I knew growing up made fun of my love for InSoc. Didn't matter, it always put in the right frame of mind. Still quite therapeutic to this day.

I've seen them play live 3 times. Information Society used electronic drum hit pads with an assortment of sounds.
They were mostly known in American for What's On Your Mind (Pure Energy) with sound bytes from the 60s Star Trek series.
I always liked the mixed array of electronic sounds, and the futuristic feel.
Kurt Harland Larson ~~was~~ is an interesting guy. Very charismatic, and personable.

Some of my favs:

Late 90's

Closing In

Ending World

Late 80s/Early 90's

What's On Your Mind (12" Extended)

Walking Away

Going Going Gone (couldn't find a good version online)

http://www.rhapsody.com/information-society/dont-be-afraid--hakatak-international-id19082005

Don't want center stage, but something is missing

2011-01-17T00:22:00.000-08:00

I just don't like center stage, but my personality has often propelled me towards that path as much as I try my best to dodge it.
Some say confidence is great, and I always feel that sense of losing perception. With confidence comes arrogance, and carelessness. The external reaction time is always too slow. Did I not make it clear enough?

No, I really don't want center stage, but then I feel something is missing without my ideas. Perhaps I'll just grow old, wrapped in my own insanity until my deepest thoughts are a collection of incoherent murmurs.

I'm bored of the entertainment we fill our lives with. Every year is another Miss America Pageant but this time only a week after the President calls a one man shooter a national tragedy between commercial air time for Keeping Up With The Kardashians. What should I be concerned about? Fashionably sexy dressed women, or dead people I've never met?

Why did he snap? Perhaps he lost his place in this world and his prize was taken away. Perhaps lost in a tidal-wave of inconsistency, and mixed signals.

The banks are getting bigger and nobody seems to care about doing anything. Our way of living is becoming a caricature of another caricature and nobody seems to mind.

If and when disaster hits there won't be a duck & cover maneuver to save us. There won't be enough police, firemen, scientists or nurses to treat people. There won't be enough food, fuel or any way out. We are slaves to electricity that needs fuel to last. Too many people on a sinking ship. Nobody seems to care.

Don't worry so much. Just laugh about something. Find some trivial news item, or celebrate the anniversary of someone, or something...again.

I don't want center stage, but something is missing.

Quick/Quid Pro Quo Still Stands

2011-01-15T17:47:00.000-08:00

A mentally-ill / crazy lone gunman fires off a gun into a crowd last week killing 6 people, injuring others. He had easier access to guns than he did friends or health treatment, in a country whose way of living is coming apart (economic system crashing / ineffective government ) while our Commander in Chief, and news media conclude that this violent act was inspired by political rhetoric. Congress stops from doing anything to discuss security, in protecting its own ass while the downward spiral continues.

Seriously.
I think we're fucked...My last post still stands as the path I believe we're headed, but perhaps even sooner than I thought.

Quick/Quid Pro Quo

2011-01-07T14:20:00.000-08:00

Simple enough that a child could understand yet that doesn't change anything does it?

Please, please, please tell me what I need to think to disregard this...
Tell me that I'm over-exaggerating, over simplifying, that my prediction is flawed - too generalized.
Tell me that my sense of urgency, or worries are dumbfounded, and pointless.
Tell me that I'm being paranoid, and this path is a false doom, not possible.
Tell me that I'm over stating the obvious and that there is no need to be concerned because it is beyond our control.
Tell me that redistribution of wealth from the top is a crippling idea.
Tell me that America's Government is incapable of collapsing and that this is a delusional prediction by a crazy mad man.
Tell me that praying to a deity will stop this.
Tell me what ideas I must entertain myself with to avoid thinking about this from happening within the next 2 to 5 years.

Please, delude me with something.

The Big Win

2010-12-18T23:03:00.000-08:00


While waiting in line I found this real mugshot on the cover of a tabloid called Local Mugshots Baton Rouge Edition

Somehow it is only those times when I'm most fienin for smokes that I end up waiting in line behind a person storing up lotto tickets for their winter hibernation. Some people stock up on lotto tickets in hopes that the number Gods have granted them the lucky combination via their family's lucky birthday digits. Then often while I wait staring at mugshots laughing at the funny faces I hear the inevitable conversation spring forward about what it is they'd do if they won those millions of dollars.

For a moment I pause, and speculated what I'd do if I won huge lump sums of cash, and I begin imagining ways I'd spend it on ridiculous concepts that somehow benefit the needy. I'd build a lavish resort in Washington DC that only houses street-bums, and homeless people. If you've lived indoors within the passed 5 years you don't qualify. Then after the bums defecate all over the place I'd donate it to The Smithsonian Institution labeled as One Giant Shit-Hole For Mankind in honor of America's business capitalistic pride.
I'd also fund a limo service that drives cleaning ladies to work every day. When the lady steps out of the limo at Wal-Mart, people might ask:"Wow. Whose that royalty, why is she here?", to which someone might say:" Oh, that's the cleaning lady here to clean up the restrooms, don't you see the spray bottles, and rubber gloves hanging out of her wadded apron?"
Those are just examples, but I'd so LOVE to be able to waste cash on people that no one usually stops to appreciate. Of course I'd probably buy a couple of boxes of Camel Lights, and a fresh new cologne, but other than that I wouldn't want anything lavish, or expensive. It's just not the kind of person I am. I don't care how beautiful there are sights to see all across the planet, or how high fashioned my apparel is. Those things never mattered to me, and never impressed me much.
Recently I've noticed several news stories suggesting that we should not hate the rich, or punish them for being the winners, and I cynically have to ask how is my opinion effecting them daily? Is there a billionaire sitting back at 1 of 5 houses at poolside sipping a martini saying:" DARN! I shouldn't live so comfortably, Bennet might be irritated with my selfish indulgence."
Truth is I don't care, and I don't see how opinions should matter. I know it is just the news, and media exploiting stories out of nothing, like claiming businesses are being pressured to use "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" because when in fact I still don't care either way. I live fine being me, not worrying about what public display needs to reflect current majorities. However I see less common sense in public view than anything.
I'm not impressed with fortunate CEOs who were lucky enough to be born out of the right sperm deposit, and build a new casino out of their inheritance.
Not all fortunate cases are the same of course. Congratulations to those lucky winners who sprint through the red tap to catch the roar of cheers , and thunderous applause.
However not everyone can make it across the finish-line. Not everyone can be winners no matter what. It isn't the Government preventing them, or either party. It is simply a fact of life.
What does impress me are those people who struggle hopelessly day after day with nothing. Those many with no hopes of someday getting the big win, or angels hugging them after they die. It is those people that for whatever reasons they're stuck in they create pure joy out of hopelessness, and nothing.
No pills, no drugs, no TV, movies, or entertainment telling them how to enjoy life. Those people that struggle every day despite however bleak the world seems that still manage to somehow create joy out of nothing. Those are the people that impress me most, and make me proud to be loving life.

I imagine I'm just a fellow dreamer like Lennon.

PAT DOWNS! - I have the solution!

2010-11-20T20:26:00.000-08:00

The latest gripe in News is America's relentless humiliation in having to be groped by America's airport security. Even Ron Paul's on CNN saying it is an injustice to be subjected to such indignities as to having your body scanned by those horny bastards at airport security that get off to porn of metallic looking silhouettes of old people. SICK! SUCK IT T1000! You're not going to masturbate to my Aunt's sexy digital metal mangled panties!
But I thought about it for a minute, then a flood of ideas began to rush passed me like an old man's hairy knuckles rubbing up against my inner thigh, DING!
I've got the solution. The problem with the fondling is that it's being done mostly by same sex feelers so as to make it seem less embarrassing, but I think it is that which is the problem. Now, say for instance an attractive, and pretty female, 5'5" ( or shorter) with long great smelling brunette, or brown hair gave me the thorough pat down? I think I might like it. In fact I might even asked to step outside for a quick smoke, and tell them I'll be back in for another pat down just for fun. HELL YEAH!
But then the idea got better because I thought about our tough economy, and all of those out of work strippers in dire need of work. STRIPPERS! Hell, I bet the line to get pat downs for men would be longer than any wait for the latest Apple tech gadget. Most men might even go repeatedly to get free pat downs from sexy strippers, even if they aren't taking a flight anywhere. Male strippers for the old gals, you know they wouldn't mine at all. What old lady wouldn't appreciate some young shirtless muscle bound Chip'n Dales guy to do the gentle rub under her bosoms?
Think of how much it would be a win win, for everyone? Do I have to do all of the brainstorming these days?
It could even go commercial. Think Playboy, Playgirl, all of those famous models, and celebrities people wouldn't mind being fondled by? Not a big fan of the Harry Potter movies, tired of their boring promotion, but your a guy who thinks Emma Watson is kind of cute ? Well, she could be doing pat downs on men at terminal gate 20 to promote the movie. THINK ABOUT IT!

A Cup Of Morning Rage With Spinkles Of Fight For the Little Man

2010-11-17T22:46:00.000-08:00

I'm not the fastest gun in the south, but sooner or later I catch on to where the some sources of hate come from. I watch all of the news sources knowing Fox News is doing its best to place blame on "The Obama Administration", and their liberalized ideals to force the government to take control. It is a complete distortion of the truth, but it is relentless. Definitely their style is a great source of inspiration to others struggling in the field of broadcasting.

For 5 days a week 3 to 4 hours a day Louisianians, and all across the southern region commuters on their way to work can listen to Walton and Johnson. Daily, they supply a steady dose of hate for Obama's regulations designed to infringe on the working class. One of them impersonates a gangster thug, or a flaming gay which if you listen to them enough during your morning drive with a cup of java dementia slowly you'll enjoy their jokes and eventually reinforce your raged for our Government, and it's mean rules.
The kind of hate they teach isn't as direct as the KKK. No it is much more subtle and more incumbent on you to draw those conclusions that many in Louisiana already have but just need someone to help supply a steady list of distorted facts with those terrible communistic rules our Government is enforcing, and enslaving us with.

I've mentioned this before about the tools broadcasters use to keep listeners tuning in every day. For Baywatch it was Pamela Anderson in a swimsuit to keep it's audience coming back, but for this morning talk radio show it's rage. You have to keep your foot down on the gas peddle, and keep yourself motivated to make that dangerous drive every morning, so what better way than to listen to a couple of guys reward you with justifying your rage with hate disguised between laughter?
I remember listening to these guys back in the early to mid 90s back when I listened to Rush Limbaugh. They seemed pretty tame back then, but after having been bumped from station to station over the years they've had to up the ante a bit to pick up more steady listeners. Plus we have a black man as a President so I guess you could see their need to increase animosity towards our Government. What better way than to route for the little guy working hard to save a buck on his way to work than to point out all those ways our big bad Government with the black man as Pres is trying to control us? Of course I don't see things that way, but that's how they see it. It's brain junk breakfast food.
I hate the hate oxymoroned in on itself, but I'm tired of people missing the reality that faces us. Our population is growing, and this well oiled machine has to make changes to fit this growing population, and every day the less of any empathy I see. It is insanity to think that every person in the Government is trying to control your life. It seems a great majority of our country doesn't know a good thing when it hits them in the face, and instead sides with the huge corporations that truly don't care until our "big bad" government steps in to tell them their products are unsafe.

Consider yourself informed of one tiny strong source of morning rage marketed, and given to it's audience daily to keep those commuters motivated to go to work.

Beverages with concave bottoms, & drink coasters can be DEADLY!!!!

2010-10-08T14:18:00.000-07:00

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

Relax (Don't Do It) Dreamed, or Created

2010-10-07T20:27:00.000-07:00

Press play before reading. Please.

Several months ago I had a dream that I was listening to this on the web, and that it became stuck in my head, so I woke up, and listened to it which as the dream foretold it became stuck in my head.

Which created which?

I did a little research on the song. The goofy laser beams part makes me laugh giddy. It turns out this 80s classic was originally about relaxing before releasing sexual tension too soon, and the band lied to the record company, and promotional reps, telling them the song was a motivational piece.

Was my dream trying to tell me something, with 80s music?

I've got a big head, let me pop it myself

2010-10-04T15:28:00.000-07:00

So basically Rick Sanchez destroys his career because his ego couldn't handle a few jokes a couple times in the passed few weeks done by Jon Stewart, and Stephen Colbert.
Rick Sanchez:
“Jon Stewart is a bigot. I think he looks at the world through, his mom, who was a school teacher, and his dad, who was a physicist or something like that. Great, I’m so happy that he grew up in a suburban middle class New Jersey home with everything you could ever imagine.”

“I’m telling you that everybody who runs CNN is a lot like Stewart, and a lot of people who run all the other networks are a lot like Stewart, and to imply that somehow they, the people in this country who are Jewish, are an oppressed minority? Yeah.”

WTH? Does his wife not tell him what he needs to hear? Obviously not. We all know (shamefully) Fox News has more viewers than CNN which tries to be more balanced but isn't pulling as many viewers. Fox News - 42% viewers/ CNN - 22%
Fox News does feed into many people's discomfort for ethnicity, and our multi-cultural society. FN also provides the same sense of frustration as voiced by the Tea Party movement.
He does make good opinionated points about Fox News, too bad he won't be able to resurrect himself like Glen Beck. Perhaps if he would have voiced his opinions about Fox News, it might have helped sooner, but CNN doesn't like stooping to Fox News Level, unless its Nancy Grace, or that other irritating lady.

Rick Sanchez wrecked his career with his own ego, and mouth. I actually feel sorry for him. Perhaps he wanted vacation time. Maybe he was about to be bumped down, and figured I should burn what's left of my respectability. Just maybe he wanted to work for Univision. I don't know. If I could I would donate my other foot that I'm currently not using in own my mouth. I guess this makes us human to make mistakes. Live, and learn.

All Weekend this made me go GRRRRRRRRR

2010-09-27T20:16:00.000-07:00

Christine O'Donnell on Evolution - 1998 Bill Maher

Laughing With Humility

2010-09-25T23:19:00.000-07:00

I hate doing too much of a good thing, but Stephen Colbert did comedy based on predicting what Fox News would do as a result of his 5 minute bit. It is hysterical in every way. Brave, daring, and funny.
I know his bit was unconventional, and in some sense felt awkward. To think that someone could be in congress - the most seriousness place of parliamentary procedure, but sometimes laughter shakes things up a bit. We live in a time when many people have lost hope in a government that can function in accomplishing anything unless it is corporately driven. If a person gets people talking about serious issues with a few chuckles, its definitely better than nothing at all. I suspect many republicans didn't appreciate his humor because he didn't make any offensive racial remarks, and instead focused on something most of them lack - public humility.

Note: This is a lot of video, mostly for my own record. Funny how Fox News turns what happened into something else for their benefit when the proof of contradiction is all here, for free.

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Fallback Position - Migrant Worker Pt. 2

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

2010 Election

Fox News

Stephen Colbert's testimony

Fox's Megan Kelly's more blown out of proportion opinions

And finally Stephen Colbert's questioning from Congress, that Fox News refused to acknowledge, and lied about in which Stephen explains why this was important to him, which was very humbling.

If I forget to thank my subconscious, don't worry it isn't emotional about stuff

2010-09-20T23:08:00.000-07:00

When I was younger I related the concepts of the subconscious brain's function on a regular basis in conversation, and I think it annoyed people. Perhaps it made them think that I thought I was smarter. I don't know. Perhaps people became annoyed with it because it became so popular in self-help books, and common pop cultural references to psychology. As I've grown older I've abandoned relating subconsciousness thoughts to every day life, but never forgot its importance.

Basically the subconscious is the part of your brain that does all of the thinking, and than some. It is smarter than you think you are. It is the raw data processing of the brain we're seldom aware of, but depend on always. It does all of the calculations with your entire life as its material source, and it doesn't stop calculating not for a minute. It is mechanical but usually uses emotions to communicate with your awareness directly. When you're hungry it makes you crabby. When you do something wrong, it can induce guilt, or any emotion as needed. It knows more about you than you do. After all it is you. It calculates how far distance is for each foot step you make. It determines that when you have a cut how to restrict veins, and redirect blood-flow. It makes complete record of your environment from the smells, the light, temperature and several other conditions we're not yet aware of. When someone says an idea just popped into their head, this is not true. In fact the subconscious had already figured out the problem, and they were briefly opened for their subconsciousness to provide the awareness of that solution. It is always calculating everything beyond our awareness. Some religions attempt to use meditation as a way of tapping into our subconsciousness brain's better analysis. While even other religions try to suggest that our subconscious is a holy spirit watching over us. Many people mistaken their subconscious awareness as religious experiences. The subconscious can induce hallucinations. It's rules are based simply on what you need, not what is right or wrong.
At night when you sleep the subconscious is busy zip filing your memories into better quantum locations as the memories relate to other information for easier recollection. Quite often the subconscious makes probability calculations, which are usually very accurate predictions based on you specifically made aware to you in dreams often recalled as Déjà vu, or precognition.
You have to remember how busy the subconscious brain is, and its purpose. It's function is to calculate everything not in numbers, but in real world practical sense bring balance to you, and your body. Its attempt is to bring order to chaos, or controlled chaos to order, and always maintain balance. It is doing all the thinking for you, whether you're aware of it or not. It doesn't need thanks, or appreciation, because as I said it is you.

I know most of this is common knowledge, but sometimes I need to remind myself how important the subconscious brain is, and how it relates to everything we do.

If you have a good idea, TELL NO ONE! Keep it a secret...shshshshsh

2010-09-14T17:14:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking this for years, and yet again someone is just getting to testing it. For me it applies for ideas just as much as goals. I believe true inspiration relies in each of us, and shouldn't need to be a broadcast of our intentions. Sometimes I keep my best jokes a secret for months, sometimes years before I tell them. By the time I've told it I'm on to something else. Actually telling old ideas is sort of how I empty out old stuff, making room for the current stuff, that's about to be old. I'd tell you what it is, but then that would ruin it, wouldn't it?

Schrödinger's Cat

2010-09-10T19:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes both asleep, and awake.

.

Wally World Of God

2010-08-07T21:15:00.000-07:00

At least two to three times a year I complain about religion (specifically Christianity) because I'm surrounded by it's nonsense every day. I usually ignore it because I know that no matter what you can't prove or disprove anything with people grasping on to faith as reason. I believe it to be a disease that has poisoned America. I could blame Bush, but like any good businessman he saw a thirsty group of people not happy with a Godless nation, so ever since it seems to have been getting worse. Perhaps it was 911. I don't know which, if not all of the above & more, but here's my list of what I dislike about religious follower's teachings.

LIST OF 7 REDUNDANT THINGS I HATE ABOUT RELIGIOUS TEACHING

Unlike the teachings, most religious followers have an issue with you for simply existing, if it does not suit their comfort.
In their minds, they are never wrong, simply being tested.
They fear that the way you think, act, or behave will send a beckon to God that it is time to squish the planet, and all of it's worthlessness.
Waiting for miracles is taught to young impressionable minds (such as mine) teaching them that if you pray long enough it will happen magically within your lifetime.
Even though most European Bible scholars have concluded that the Bible is a collection of exaggerated campfire stories intended to inspire, most strict Christian followers treat it as historical fact never interested in discovering more background details that prove otherwise.
Reason, and logic, are discarded in favor of wishful thinking.
No tolerances for indifference, or diversity. No interest in diversity. You are either right, or wrong. Details are unimportant, and never a factor.

Blah. Very repetitive.
I believe our human existence on Earth is so minuet in time that it is impossible for us to understand our purpose in the Universe, or if there is one for us directly. There is an uncertainty in our unknown existence that I find quite inspirational. My biggest regret is being raised Christian.
When President Obama speaks I can almost instantly imagine the negativity that will be used to disregard anything he says. We live in a world with billions of people, and saying something to please all of them is not possible. I love diversity. I love being flawed, making mistakes, and learning from them. I'm beginning to think that our ability to think whatever we want is our only true remaining freedom, and that even that is being taught by religion to be restrained. Somehow in the modern day social hysteria if you are the slightest bit wrong you are considered completely inferior, thus not acting in God's way. We're fighting an imaginary form of self-righteousness that is nothing more than a wall preventing individual growth, understanding, humility, and maturity. We are caricatures of our former generations that learned responsibility first hand. Instead we're simply mimicking old traditions passed down without truly understanding why. Business as usual without any grasp on the complexities of such a huge planetary population.
If a God were interested in our preservation, I believe he would probably tell us to stop fighting in the back seat of the green station-wagon, to shut up (stop bothering each other with pointing fingers at who to blame), to enjoy sharing our candy with our brother, or sister while riding on a long family vacation drive through time.

Contarted Trepidation

2010-07-21T13:53:00.000-07:00

The tortoise's destination was a sewage ditch, for which I briefly thought "how pathetic?" but who am I to argue what it's satisfaction should be? Perhaps the ditch is filled with plenty of nutritional value, and residual narcotics shat from elderly folks also waiting to die. I could have helped steered it closer, but who was I to rob it of tragedy? For ever pleasure, was once a pain with the winner being which ever remains.
I've heard that if you don't contribute to society you're a waste, but like a crack whore stumbling across 8am sunlit sidewalks in search of a transactional suck & blow, I'm not certain that I wish to contribute to such sucking fellatio.
I want inspiration that can't be given, bought, or sold. I don't want to be told what to think, or feel. I don't want what I want.
I could be a slave to inflection like escaping hope after an erection.
Opinions come, and go changing as times grow.
If I've led you to believe that I know how everything should go, I'm sorry. I'm not sure about my destination, and I know I won't be happy once I get there.

My mood:

Perfect Waste Of Time

2010-06-28T21:54:00.000-07:00

I remember wasting many quarters on MsPacMan. For most of my life, I never knew if the story continued after the stork dropped the baby, but it turns out that it was indeed the end of the story for MsPacMan. This game is very annoying. I hate it, that's why I made it to level 60, and use it to test my patience. Boring, repetitive, pointless. ENJOY! :)

Panic Attacks

2010-06-12T06:12:00.000-07:00

~This is my attempt to pretend to know a lot about the news, and have an opinion that matters. This is my mimic post, doing what so many do about news stories because talking about the weather is outdated, but not posting photos of pets, and kids. That never gets old, apparently. In the modern age forming a strong concrete opinion is the seasoning / reasoning of life for without an opinion you are as worthless as pond-scum which is ironic since pond scum also consumes dangerous forms of bacteria harmful to public safety.

On Facebook, Melissa Wiegand Brown found something weird in her Capri Sun fruit juice drink, and is asking (No DEMANDING!) that Kraft Foods recall it's product worldwide, ( or at least redesign transparent packaging ) and as a result some angry parents are outraged by Kraft Foods' slow common sense response.

Melissa's claims:
“When we opened a new box of drinks, my husband pulled the top pouch out. It was sticky and immediately started leaking everywhere. He went to drain it in the sink and felt something LARGE inside the pouch.”

Kraft issued a statement via their Facebook page:
“We recently received word from a consumer about an issue with a Capri Sun pouch. We understand that some of you are concerned. Now that we’ve tested the material, we’ve confirmed it was mold. While unpleasant, it is not a safety issue. If this had been a safety issue, Kraft Foods certainly would have taken the necessary steps, including issuing a recall.

As a general food safety tip, please remember that because Capri Sun beverages don’t have preservatives, a leaky pouch can cause the beverage to spoil and discarding it is the right action to take.”

So my internal Mr. Obvious says:" Don't consume products from packaging that is opened , or damaged. DUH!"

Abby Sunderland is fine after having set off a beacon through stormy weather. Again several parents seemed outraged that a father could allow his daughter to sail the sea alone.
I wasn't passionately outraged, but I did consider this act similar to dangling fresh raw meat over hungry sharks. By no means would I want her to stifle her dreams, nor did I question her skills, unless she doesn't know how to operate a hand gun. I have to admit I don't know a lot about the dangers of crossing international waters alone. Kidnapping white girls is a common theme in Hollywood movies, so I doubt Liam Neeson's fictional character of Bryan Mills from the movie Taken would be on hand with his very particular set of skills to save her in real life.
Then again, it is just another white girl. Not exactly a shortage of those. I say we should encourage 16 year old white girls to pursue their dreams. If they want to run through slum streets naked, screaming :" rape me!", there is nothing wrong with that. No reason to be alarmed. Personal safety is not an issue of concern. Why be so upset you grumpy old dream killers, it's not you anyway, right? Good, I'm glad we got that straight. Now tell the staff at HLN to stop asking your opinions on things you know you really don't care about, but they delude you with thinking your opinion matters.

In other news Alvin Greene won for South Carolina Senate Primaries with no campaign, no one knowing who he is, and with no job.
Some are speculating that he was put on the ballad for the lulz by republican pranksters, but with no proof who knows? All we can do is speculate. I say, why not? I honestly think he could do just as effective a job as any Senator. He won't get there, but someone is going to write a book, or maybe even pay him for movie rights. It's a win win either way.

So, with the on going constant regurgitating BP Oil Spill in the news, it is nice to know the rest is as usual. Paranoid angry parents, political satire unfolding in real life. It is no wonder our imaginations get the best of us. Real life never fails to be more entertaining than fiction.

~

This concludes my attempt to mimic common blogging traditions of many within the blogosphere. I hope that this has given you some sense of comfort in knowing we are all like minded individuals maintaining a sense of self perpetuated purpose. Now it's time to drink beer, keep up with more news, and continue to work closer on my moral narrative skills so that I might better function within society. Goddammit, I'm really fucking bored. I wish I had some weed to smoke. I haven't had any in over 10 years, or more. I envy the generation that gets to have it legalized, you lucky bastards.
~

The Colbert Report: Crude & Unusual

2010-06-09T15:10:00.000-07:00

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Crude & Unusual

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

Fox News

Generally Speaking

2010-06-07T15:50:00.000-07:00

I hate over generalizations, and trying to compose overly generalized summaries of complex subjects but it is natural. I've compared our existence to ants covering a ball of mud consuming all, and multiplying until expansion is a necessity, but I'm still unable to find a more accurate generalization.

It seems our rapid growth is in no way proportionally equaled to our needs. I don't believe, nor give any credence to ancient alien mutation theories, or anything routed in possible paranoid speculation. However most everything is speculation without certain proof. Although I do feel that we humans are different from all other species as though our evolution is not suited for Earth. We're still evolving, and perhaps our collapse will be part of our growth to adjust to using electricity. Even our bodies are subject to change in the small amount of time we've occupied Earth. Time itself has always inspired me to question existence. We are perhaps a blip in comparison to all that is the Universe, and beyond. We cannot know the answers without the appropriate questions.

Questions I ask all the time...

What will we humans be in another 10 million years from now?

Why do I think about things we cannot answer? Inspired by the mysterious, I suppose.

If there is an after life, why can't I remember anything before I was born, and if I've just forgot, what difference would it make in a reincarnation? None, that I can imagine.

Perhaps we're the scattered reminisce of another species' organic material blown here by way of cosmic dust, spread passed previous Universes.

Why bother thinking about this; I don't know. But I can't help but thinking something about us is missing. We're not aware of our purpose, or our place in the Universe. Each one of us will be dead long before we are able to witness change. Our youth will inherit our discovers as footnotes, without understanding the full grasp of our responsibilities but are expected to carry on our continued evolution.

~

Photos From Grand Isle

2010-06-05T20:28:00.001-07:00

My brother-in-law took photos:

"Mural on the side of a tattoo shop in Cutoff. "

"The orange burm is about 40 feet from the shoreline."

"A feather from a brown pelican stuck in the gooey mess."

"Make shift grave yard for the shrimp, crabs, oysters, beaches, business of the area."

"That's either a glove or someone stuck in the oil asking for help to get out.......you decide"

"The pics only tell part of the story. It was very surreal. Grand Isle is usually bustling with activity on summer weekends and there was no one there. The guard and media and a few people like us just taking pictures. This little down is devastated. I think it's worse than a hurricane."

British Poop

2010-06-03T22:33:00.000-07:00

I was going to make elaborate drawings, and graphics poking fun at BP's mess, but I'm so seriously pissed off about it that I'm having a hard time thinking of fun ways for folly.

About a month ago I didn't take this very seriously since I've grown up all of my life hearing about Gulf water oil rig accidents, and our eroding marsh lands but that was because I figured BP had back up plans. Over 45 days later we've discovered that BP was as prepared for worst case scenario as was George W Bush was in finding WMDs in Iraqi. As I type this Halliburton is sending hush money to the Federal Trade Commission, and Dick Cheney is probably sending representatives to keep his name out of investigative reports. Not many are talking about it yet, but it's coming.

Words cannot describe the level of disgust I have for BP, and everyone at the top of the chain who cut corners, deregulated drilling safety precautions for greed, and carelessness. Huge amounts of land, water, animals, families, and industries destroyed to save money for the greedy wealthy pompous pricks who see everything, and everyone as expendable.

But this isn't the fault of any one person. This is all about greed, and carelessness on an epic scale. BP's top execs say things like:" I want to get back to my life too." reminds me of office interns complaining about the copier, and how they can't wait for the weekend to suck nipple shots off a stripper named Christine.

Fuck you British Petroleum, your families, and your pointless existence. I don't care how much money they pay ad agencies to brainstorm clean up campaigns. When the going got tough, we saw their truly colors, lies, and cover ups which all looks a lot like that same shitty globs filling the Gulf at over 70 thousand barrels a day. Obama says he doesn't have time to vent his level of outrage; good for him. I'm just getting started.
Whose going to pay for the land melted away into the Gulf in the next 10 years because of this disaster? Who seems to give a fuck?

Walmart, and Tyson Foods, buses in Mexicans to do cheap factory labor then have them run out out the US every few months with the help of the INS. The companies never get in trouble, and people figure, at least we're getting cheap food out of it.

Companies are getting away with unimaginable acts that treat people worse than product. They don't police themselves until they get caught, and the person that catches them is usually paid off, and business goes on as usual.

Greed, and carelessness is our new legacy that treats people like dirt every day & every hour.

Sucking The Baby Bottle

2010-05-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

I only anticipate watching 3 TV shows on a regular basis. Other than that I flip back, and forth with the Discovery, National Geo, History, or Science Channel if it is science. Ax Men, isn't science. If that fails I flip in search of movies, or watch Watchmen for the 100th time.
Nurse Jackie is my favorite, and if you're not watching it, I'd say you suck, but only in a joking friendly way of course. Seriously, it is the best TV show on TV. You should be, if you're not.

2nd is SGU, because it is very original in it's approach to the science fiction genre. It isn't at all like previous incarnations, but it does take a certain kind of fan, or viewer to appreciate it. Very unique show, regardless.

3rd is Lost soon to finally be over Sunday. The smoke monster eradicated, or possibly revealed that it is the ghostly reminisce of alternate realities converging. Who knows? I don't think the ending will be satisfying, and I know many will complain. It is often common for babies to throw the bottle when they're restless, and finished filling up on fat.
That is all....

The Future Looks Bright, But Not Now

2010-05-01T06:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I really do feel alone. Over 5 years since my dad died, and I missed him more now than ever. Guilt, knowing that if he were still here our conversations would still be restricted by guilt from the both of us.
I've heard people say the future looks bright, but that's only if you are a kid, or younger than 35 because after that you realize everyone you knew growing up is dying, or dead never to return. Looking back, even the most tragic of terror stricken moments are looked upon as fond memories worth cherishing but unknown by most.
No one will, nor has ever understood. I could hold back the tears, but I know I'll be laughing later so why bother? The future looks bright, but not really. Never as good as it should be.
The breeze outside is hot. Today's hidden sun behind a sheet of dimly lit fluorescent clouds isn't helping much either.
The tool shed reminds me of him. The things he nailed to hang. His genius, hand crafted creations forgotten. The future looks bright, but not now.

That's Why I Love Spring

2010-03-13T11:31:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love Spring. I was born in the Spring, where the sun brightens a brilliant blue sky with a reflective ting of yellow where all my greatest memories reside. The smell of fresh cut green lawns, and blooming flowers. I lost my virginity in Spring, and I feel born in Spring. Summer's too hot, the Fall is nice but dreary with the impending deathly chill of Winter, and not being able to go outdoors barefoot in shorts & a t-shirt. Winter's gloom & doom is a welcomed place for Christmas to entertain us in it's commercially putrid constant contradictory.

Spring is the birth of life again. A reason to wake up, and be alive with fresh air. The beginning of all that is worthy of fighting for. Spring has no contradictions, because it is birth & beginning, pure, fresh.

I shouldn't blog when I'm happy because it leaves little cynical satire to entertain, but it's Spring, and that's why I love Spring.

Here's my music from my old useless Myspace page. If fact if it weren't for a place to keeep an online jukebox it would be useless..

My favorite music of the passed few years

Enjoy

Hope Dies 24 Times 7

2010-02-21T07:12:00.000-08:00

I ask myself all the time, what's the point? All of my mistakes echoing in my head 24/7, wondering if it's my chemistry that needs altering via some factory made pills created to make my neurons numb. I don't take. Perhaps I should. Prayers didn't work, hopes last, then die. I battle the good fight until I'm swallowed by my hate of the past 24 times over by 7, and then I give up. I sit idled until I'm sickened of my historical errors of my ways 24/7's blasting my brain 48 of 3's, with an extra Sunday of 24. I can make the change to do something as I have attempted so many times, and again met by failure 24 times over by 7. I'd scream for help, but feel pretty guilty about it, so instead I'll simply change the subject. Create a distraction that isn't anything, but nothing. Who cares? Probably no one, as they shouldn't.
I remembered the paranoid people speculating 2012's speculative end of all as things are, and asked myself,:" Would it matter if this planet of filth were wiped clean of living, and non-living human waste?". Probably not, was my conclusion as I'm certain only the greedy hungry able-bodied might survive to spawn another species to do more of the same, not that it would matter to me either way.
Lately I've fed myself guilt, and burped up my guilt until I drank more, sugary covered guilt sprinkled with 24/7 of shame, and disgust of all that is me, and my part of it all.
I don't push the button to self-destruct, instead I simply wait until the fuel runs dry, hoping my 24/7 hours of shame will have nourished me with enough to survive on more.

Life with age always gets worse never better, and even the worst of the past wasn't never nearly as bad as it will be. I enjoy the current filth while it can be devoured until it gets worse as it always has.

Prayers never worked, hopes always die, and the future is never as bright as it could be. After the tears comes the joy of being happy to be happy, and not carrying why. The hope has died, and is reborn to die again separately spaced 24 by 7 times unknown with why.

Why I Stopped Believing In Religion's God

2010-01-05T03:13:00.000-08:00

This is my rough draft, no fancy words, raw, not so artful until I can let it bake in the little known blogshere, and condense, reconfigure it into something better. It's a bit too self-pitied for my own tastes, but that's why it's a rough draft work in progress.

Being raised Catholic, and from a very early age I always imagined entertaining God, and all of my dead relatives. Did they enjoy watching me pee with glee? I lived ignorance with my circumsized penis (without my permission) for the narrowed good of all as inferior.
As grew older I eventually became very depressed as an adult after my Dad died. I prayed, and begged for life to become better, but it only became worse, or so it seemed.
I cried a lot, and wonder how God could allow me to be so miserable. Did he not hear me crying week after week, month after month, and year after year? I was fortunate to have all of my limbs, and living standards better than some but a dumb poem about a single filed set of footprints in the sand wasn't enough. I wanted to know more, and religion wasn't giving me the answers I needed. I sought different religions, and different philosophies while still lacking better understanding.

Slowly I began to question religion much closer than ever before. I had always questioned religion in the back of my mind, but ignored doing so because I believed such thinking was a road to self destruction, but given the direction I was in at the time, I didn't have much else to lose.
Nature itself has it's own answers far better than any books, or any great philosopher.

Once I gave up believing in old myths, I began to appreciate life so much better than ever before. I wasn't dissatisfied with what I wasn't. I wasn't angry with life, and seeing life as being handed to me as a rotten deal. The breaking point was when I woke up realizing life is completely unwritten, and free for me to think whatever I want without feeling guilty about it.

I could laugh in the face of misery because I felt like it. I could see the world in it's own true nature, and respect it's harsh truth without needing to think everything has to have some preordained purpose, or meaning. I became more interested in deeper science than ever before, and I began to really think about life with new eyes in away I could never allow myself before.
I didn't need people to teach me how to think , or what to think anymore. All I needed was time to think on my own. I didn't need to hurt others to think it. I didn't need to be what other people wanted. All I needed was to be me.

I can't even type in words how thankful I became to have life without a religious cage. I didn't try to hurt people, or demand that they feel sorry for me anymore.
This is all quite condensed because it has to be.
I wish I could inspire people to understand what true freedom really means, but who am I to tell people what to think?
I am humbled thankfully for each, and every day feeling free from the guilt of being me.

Here's James Randi's take on God, and while I don't believe in no absolute God (which involves another length discussion) I believe his thoughts are similar to mine on how religion began.

Quick Thought

2009-12-17T00:16:00.000-08:00

If religion was so important to him why doesn't Pope John Paul The 2nd ever come back to make a quick photo op?
He could make an appearance during a Super Bowl, millions of viewers with cameras from every direction. If there were anyone favored by the Lord almighty, wouldn't it be him? He could kindly ask God " Mine if I make a guest appearance, and straighten this all thing out?". He could suddenly appear during the middle of a the first quarter, and catch a pass, then do a funny little dance, and say:" What's up my hommies?". Is the Pope just too busy with his 72 virgins that he doesn't have time to spare us a little hello from the great beyond?

Think of all of the famous religious figures that have died, and never have any of them come back to affirm their life long preachings, and teachings. No, not one in our life time.
Yeah yeah, I know what people will say about God keeping his intentions all ambiguous. The old rat maze guessing game. Seriously, sometimes I hate these people. When you can completely ignore all rationale logic in favor of myth as your guiding purpose you've already asserted your irrational ignorance for all of us to see. This is a behavior which I wish could become understood as borderline insanity.
If all humans were wiped clean from Earth, I predict the next surviving species will find old Star Wars books, posters, and statues that will spawn "The Force" as the next religion. I wish I could see that. Would be funny seeing ceremonial light saber battles with the new devil known as Lord Sidious.

Consumption sumption, what's your function?

2009-11-22T21:10:00.000-08:00

It's a rift on the old Saturday morning cartoon song.

Consumption -sumption what's your function
Hooking up herds, and buyers, and wages a war
Consumption -sumption how's that function
I've got 3 cars, that burn up fuel to get the job done
Consumption -sumption what's your function
I've got land, butt, and war that won't get you very far.

I could keep going, but why?
It's that time of the year where I wonder what's our function other than consume, and multiple? I know, we must have children to live on. Please those grandparents so that their mistakes can be carried on with a fresh cute face.
I actually wouldn't mind doing volunteer work if it didn't involve religious groups. It's that time of the year where Christians everywhere take time out from praying before an elaborate series of expensive statues to give to the needy.
" Oh Holy Lord if only there were a way for us to help all of those in need year round....."
" It's a good thing we've got these big buildings filled with priceless works of art, to pray in so that God can hear our prayers."
I've always thought of religion as a great anatomy of entertaining self-indulgence. It provides purpose where there might absolutely be none at all which works great with having children. If you get really bored make some kids, and teach them to love the magical Santa funded by your wallet.
Speaking of entertainment, that movie 2012 has some people worried even more so than Y2K's man made measurement of three zeros hysteria.

I really miss old George Carlin's cynicism, that it's all bullshit, and it's bad for you.

We're all taught to adapt, entertain ourselves, and consume. What is our function? Is it to produce enough people to consume as many layers of this planet until it becomes necessary to find another, and repeat? It would seem so, by our history. I have a suspicion that this planet will long outlive us long before it begins to melt, and resemble Venus. Maybe that's what Venus was, and next up is Mars. I don't know.
A lot of times I feel like our species is a broken machine stuck in a rut to produce, and consume. Do the drugs, watch the TV, enjoy the movie, religion, fashion, morals, do your part to buy, sell, repeat. In all of these elaborate forms of entertainment I continue to ask myself what is our purpose, and our function. While trapped in all of these elaborate mind numbing forms of entertainment I feel as though we're not asking the right questions anymore. Perhaps we're too busy trying to find that perfect commemorative bullshit toy that keeps going, and going.

Sell Some Crazy For The Hazy

2009-08-26T21:42:00.000-07:00

"Let off some steam Bennett" - Arnold Schwarzenegger from the movie Commando

Usually I am quite irritated by the lack of interest in science by the general public on a daily basis, and when I am confronted with people that believe space aliens are visiting our planet on a regular basis not only are my bitter overly generalized intuitions amplified, but the realization of how stupid people are is horrifyingly confirmed.
Definitely a sign that our general public is lacking in understanding basic science.
Forget the fact that well known websites based on science like Space.com disregard the possibility of alien visitors with simple deductive reasoning, no. Legions of Americans, and people around the world of all ages disregard hard science, and instead give into countless conspiracy theories, in order to believe in science fiction feeding the paranoid delusional schizophrenic population more than enough to quench their thirst for secret hidden agendas. The entire structure of these conspiracies depends on several multiple conspiracies theories to make any logical sense. Much of these secret agendas rely on a huge elaborate castle made of playing cards, and should you pull away just one of these playing cards, the entire structure of the castle collapses.

I know that most of us don't even worry about these growing conspiracies ever, but humor me for a moment. Consider how these ant hills of mysteries grow into something much bigger, and unstoppable.

Here's a few examples of people who believe we're not only visited by space aliens , but that the aliens are here to help guide us in case we should move in the wrong direction. These videos are rather long, but you get the idea of it in the first 3 minutes of each, should you make it passed the irritating cheetah intro.

In this first video the man claims to have been abducted, and talks in a reasonably intelligent manner. He goes on to explain that after being abducted hundreds of times over an 18 year period, he slowly gained awareness that the gray aliens want to help us save Earth by healing the rain-forests, and implanting this mission to raise awareness into the subconsciousness of abductees. He says he has witnessed alien technology (time travel, & material moving though other objects) to save Earth, but chooses not to use it because he would most likely be killed, or suffer as a result. Basically he presents a positive message, but I don't believe this is the way to do it. He also explains that our Government refuses to utilize this alien technology because it would involve divulging long held Black Opts secrets.
I was absolutely shocked at how casually this man goes on to discuss all of this. He could be a con-man, or perhaps someone who actually believes what he is saying even though much of it seems very generalized, non-detailed specific as if recalling memories from a dream state, and making up conclusions to verify the logic. His pen name is Jim Sparks, & I'm still trying to dig deeper into his claims. He does have several charity websites ( Your Earth Foundation ) claiming to help the rain-forests, and Earth, but the sites look very cheap. For someone supposedly helped by fellow "contactees" who all experienced advanced alien technology first hand, his web-pages look like they were made with Yahoo's Geocities page builder drop & drag interface. Why would space aliens seeking to help us save Earth rely on abducting a Florida Real Estate Salesman with little understanding of technical science? Space Aliens must be STUPID! Most everything he says seems too fantastic, and we have no way of disproving him because every part of his story has an elaborate safety net, that the aliens use time travel, & dimensional shifting. Scientists have been theorizing parallel dimensions for over 70 years, and it became more popular in the mid 80s along with string theory, so his claims don't seem to provide any insight beyond commonly known scientific theories already discussed by scientists, or fiction writers since the early 80s, or perhaps even much earlier. Carl Sagan once said: "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence." Jim Sparks has none, but in the meantime he wouldn't mind if you donated to his cheap looking webpage to save our planet.

Delusional schizophrenia? Ya, think? Regardless, I'm hoping that this kind of thing isn't stimulating our youth into believing in such nonsense, but the staggering amount of UFO sightings hasn't decreased on YouTube at all. Little blurry dancing dots created in Adobe After Effects is enough to convince people we are being visited by space aliens.

As much as I love & enjoy science fiction, I'm beginning to wonder if it is helping to increase delusional thinking. Space is a huge barrier, and simply not a mere obstetrical to be crossed with technological advancements. Space is far more complicated, and needs to be addressed as such. Teaching people to think that space travel is so trivial is not helping to better understanding it.

Apparently Einstein's e=mc² has no meaning to many people. The simple fact that traveling light-speed is impossible because the amount of energy mass needed would over size the capability to propel it forward is ignored, or most likely not known. In order to travel to Earth from the nearest solar system within 8 light-years these beings would have to be able to absorb , and completely manipulate matter in order travel lightyears beyond the fact that any material doing so would be ripped apart. They would have to be able to control matter, and since they could do that in a fictional sense the obvious question is:" Why visit Earth when you could literally create an Earth?"
Being able to travel lightyears across space as often as people claim to see UFOs means completely being able to control matter, and saying they could possibly zip in & out to Earth without controlling matter would be like saying:" We humans can build nuclear reactors, but somehow lack the technical skills to manufacture toasters. "
Since the whole light-year travel is complete rubbish the new modern day paranoid groups have concluded that Aliens must have been here thousands of years ago to help build the pyramids, still hanging out at one of our nearby planets within our solar system . Even if that is possibly true how could they still be here? Why would they keep themselves secret, if we know they're here? Why do acrobatic sky stunts if they want their presence secret? Is our Government really capable of keeping it a secret? No. It's all nonsense perpetrated by a large population of people suffering serious mental conditions. It's a market entertainment companies are quite well aware of.
Paranoia provides a stimuli to the brain in a way most everything else can't to these people. It leaves hidden unresolved mysteries lingering about.
I'm so sick of people investing in fiction, from space aliens, to religion, to every other type of nonsense. We humans apparently have far too little stimuli, when in reality science should be most important. I know I can't get enough of it. I wish people within the general public could understand that science is what truly changes the world, & is most important to all of us. Not movies, TV, uneducated political nonsense, tech crap, celebrity bullshit, fake news media crap.......all pointless.

I realize I'm probably making a big "to do" about nothing, however I look at how these things grow. It's been around since the 40s, and over time many people now think it's a fact. It only took a couple of years to convince these same groups of people that 9/11 is a conspiracy. It took about 200 years to convince people Jesus rising from the dead is fact, and look how that turned out. These conspiracies grow from within until eventually people are convinced that these strange mystifying elements are powering our society. When you believe in these magical elements you're more likely to be led by the fear of the unknown. I'm told that fear, can be used to encourage people to go to war regardless of any opposing reasonable rationality, but apparently some believe that logic is also a motivational conspiracy tool.

I'm so sick of the fiction we humans feel so impassioned to invest our lives into, when so much of reality is being ignored directly in front of us. Then again, with all of the bullshit we call "news", can you fully blame them? I'm tired of all the fake shit people live their lives for.

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I like that I'm not the only person thinking about these ideas

2009-08-12T23:28:00.000-07:00

Sounds, Memories

2009-06-30T23:53:00.001-07:00

Many years ago I remember working with a maintenance crew at a well known department store. Before the store opened it was routine the vacuum every carpet, sucking up as many plastic clothing clips as possible, but that didn't stop the store music.

Not a big deal, but mildly funny that I'd recall vacuuming, while hearing these every day, as I can imagine, people still do during their morning routine.

Ejack's Errational Tempormentations

2009-06-19T03:20:00.000-07:00

Tempormentations, isn't a real word. I just love making up words that look legitimate, because if you Google that word, it leads here. It was supposed to be a combo of temporal, and temptations.

Yet, another post after swearing to myself that I would not.

Fuck.

Anyways. I was going to complain about the recent sexist crap going on between the media frenzy surrounding Palin , and Letterman, but then I realized rather quickly that it's an isolated ranting from a group similar to those that believe our society is being manipulated by space aliens.

So rather than feed into that non-sense I figured I need to establish my own heterosexual male perspective, which coincidentally involves self humiliation. Humility is both sour, and a refreshing cleansing of the soul. I most definitely deserve being put in my place from time to time, just like Letterman. So, here we go.

As hetero male over the years I've kept very close awareness of my behavior regarding the chemical balance of my body. Ejaculation is as most of us know the release of life giving soup, but I'm hoping that you the reader will consider the basic science of important ramifications involved with this release. Okay dammit..Just hurry up, laugh and get it over with. Life giving soup, or epoxy glue if you want to call it that too. I don't care. It's the white stuff that comes out of the pee pee.

As my male brain normally operates, the amount of time between ejaculation often dictates my moods, and behaviors. This is both good, and bad depending on what the objective is.
For example, I've seldom found it easy to concentrate on anything if I went longer than 2 weeks without the sacred release. After say 1 week, if I were to flip through TV channels I might pass a commercial with a woman wearing a one piece, and pass right on by. At 2 weeks time, I might pause on the image of a woman wearing a one piece. On 3 weeks I'd flip back to the channel and wait for the possibility of that commercial ever coming on again just to get a better visual of those flesh toned legs. At 4 weeks without I might spend hours flipping through channels looking for that commercial. I've only been able to go beyond 4 weeks only a few times in my life, and trust me them spouts was crazy city.
So , in essence I am a slave to the chemical release. Although the longer I go without release, the more imaginative I am. Ideas pop off in an abundance with little effort. Where as closer to release I'm able to concentrate better. Think things more carefully. So the advantages, and disadvantages are pretty clear, and in a sense dictate how I react to my environment. It's also a slavery I despise. Definitely a love/hate relationship that I cannot ignore but must endure.
Of course I'm pretty sure this all has to do with male evolution, and the defendant survival of our species.
Too much incubation time with the baby batter makes you do things you probably would normally not bother doing.
So yes, as our cave dwelling ancestors enjoyed beating each other with bigger sticks, as a result we have evolved so that our brain's motivational levels can be dictated by our timely duration of withheld chemical release. Sucks. How this dynamic effects everything else needs further explanation, and detailed examples. Unfortunately I don't have the attention span to elaborate such details at this time because I recall seeing a commercial on TV I need to pay closer attention to.

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Philosophical Quandary Of Our Existence

2009-06-08T22:20:00.000-07:00

Never say never, even though I just typed it twice.

It's time to dig deep, and get my hands muddy into the philosophical quandary of our existence once again. Pure speculation, nothing I can prove or disprove, merely logical speculation.

Religion claims have all the answers, but with so many people seldom able to agree on such baseless evidence it would seem the search of reasoning is often thrown out from the start.
Often I see both religious people , and atheists fighting each side as if both have the certainty of understanding our existence, but obviously neither does, or else there wouldn't be a debate.

In my opinion I believe religions were based after night time campfire stories elders told the children to inspire their imaginations, and teach them basic morals. Then later those stories were retold over the course of hundreds, maybe even thousands of years, by which each story teller added his own creative flavorings before it became written, and transformed into religions. Perhaps some stories were based on real events grossly exaggerated. Instead of Noah bringing 2 of each of his best farming animals the story is transformed into he brought 2 of every kind of animal on Earth. Definitely adds much more importance to his cause, not to mention a place of origin for all of us to be concerned with.

History continues to confirm how far people will go to defend their religion, even if it means covering up the facts that their own fellow believers would break every vow written in it's text. Never willing to take responsibility, in order to maintain those fables because it's suppose to teach morals, and positivity. It's as if they aren't willing to admit mistakes, because in their belief they are the voice of God, and according to them God doesn't make mistakes. Religion seems to be based on absolutes, and a certainty it cannot ever prove. It requires a sense of delusion, religious people often refer to as "faith".

Many Atheist seem to think that there is no God, and that science will yield proof of such, but honestly that logic seems faulty from the start. Just because Religions could be wrong doesn't mean there is no God. It only means man's attempt to identify God hasn't been completely accurate. Perhaps God, is something completely different form anything we've imagined.

Perhaps both religion, and atheists provide half truths, but not the whole story as it is currently impossible to prove.

Regardless of the debate scientists are making head way into the unknown, and some very surprising possibilities are emerging. Possibilities that neither Religious people , or Atheists have answers for.

Here's where I'm going to give you speculation based on some very basic scientific theories.

If all matter was once combined, and expanded to create every element in the Universe then that means that everything - you, & I - EVERYTHING was once directly connect at a basic particle level. Every star, every planet, every possible alien species all connected. Even on a far more advanced level here on Earth the materials we eat, and drink today are the the same elements of our ancestor's bodies redistributed from millions of years ago though our water, plants, animals, and air.
Scientists believe that there could be multiple dimensions of existence because science has proven particles never remain static and rely on forces that could be defendant on other dimensions, which would mean that what we all experience our existence as linear time is a very small part of the puzzle. We only see our lives moving forward in time, but other dimensions may not work in liner time.
However, if a being, or collective force had the ability to transcend our dimension of time this being could essentially see all matter as it was, is, and will be all at once from possibly all unimaginable perspectives.

So let's pretend for a moment, and imagine what this undefined being could do. What would be this being's purpose? Perhaps it could not only travel every dimension but create it, and manipulate it so that each dimension functions to service the other dimensions, but why?
I'm going to use logic to speculate, by saying I believe this being would be interested in collecting information, gathering a multiple collection of calculations, but not just math in the way we think of it. To experience the variations of everything through the eyes of everything. This being could in essence split itself into the make up of all material in the Universe, and every possible variation of multiple dimensions.
To understand all is to dumb yourself down to it's level, and to become it. To acquire all information.

What if God is in fact in each one of us at a very basic level, with each of us void of our Godly conscious awareness in order to understand the life that we live from each of our own unique perspectives?

To gather all possible information.

Purely speculative.

How would our existence matter in all of this? How does all of it fit into our daily lives? I don't know, you would have to ask God. He, she, it would literally have ALL of the answers.

You are free to disagree, but I much rather question everything, rather than assume on baseless certainty. These are just ideas. Questions, that may never be proven. Logic as our only tool in understanding.

I know lots of movies, and entertainment have often dove into these questions, but lately I feel like too many people are interested in arguing about things so that it distracts us from the real depth of our purpose.
To know that each of us is free to do as we wish, is quite scary for many people. But, surprise! Our safety is usually an illusion we'd rather not think about.

These are bigger questions, and if I had the option to argue over non-sense verses real questions about our existence I have to go with the latter. Not that it matters which really. I just personally find it more interesting, and soothing.

Cerebral Scatterings

2009-05-30T21:22:00.000-07:00

This might be my most abstract manic post so far as is the point, and the entire theme.

It is that time of the year where I recap, talk about myself - bleed it all out as much as I am willing to do so, because it is that time of the year when New Years & my birthday has passed in which I go into constant retrospect. My birthday was the 21st of last month so by now I should be able to flush out the retro. Hopefully.
Disposing of those tiny lingering questions. The mere exposure here is my way of deleting that which I'm tired of having bounce around in my head making a rattling echo that becomes quite annoying.

So yes, I'm going to talk about me. I will self deprecate, and humiliate in order to do a random soul flushing with forwarded cerebral spins. This is going to be yet another post where I selfishly use the word "I" ALOT!
Consider yourself warned.

When I began this blog in 2004 it was the Fall after the Spring when my Dad died. I used this blog as way to get rid of old thoughts, and abstract ideas, but then later within a month people started commenting, and I quickly changed from the 'throwing away of ideas' format into entertaining the few that grew into a slightly bigger few. Then a few years later the few became fewer which is when I deleted it. I've always enjoyed making people laugh, but for blog purposes I didn't really want to entertain anymore, so 1 of the unhappy few took this account name I'd discarded, and redirected it towards Gay ads. No joke. Whom ever it was finally let go of the account name so I took it back , and again continued what I had originally started before the semi-entertaining years.

When I look back on my life I think I've always thought less of myself because it always seemed that when I was most happiest people always seemed to try to knock me down, and put me back in my place. As if me being happy was a bad thing. Maybe that's what I needed. Maybe I didn't seem humble enough to be deserving of so much fun. Nobody likes big egos, smart asses, weirdness, indifference, sarcasm, or paranoid over analyzable commentary.

I never see things as completely right, or wrong. I see everything in volumes. I don't view any one person as completely bad, or good, but rather more, or less of those qualities I can identify but do not condemn those I don't, nor expect to understand everything completely until I am able to think more about it, that, or who more carefully.
I've always appreciated my ability to view everything from as many angles as possible, and open to mystery solving to some later date when more data could be acquired, and my brain more willing to accept it .
I remember being told I think too much, which made me think more about how not to seem like I'm thinking too much. I hate that fucking logic. It's eats away at itself. Do I hate it completely? No. Sometimes critical insults are good - somewhat - in varying volumes, of course.

I've always thought people thought I was weird, which I've always been quite comfortable with. Besides, I've always thought confusion left more fun mystery to ponder. Oh joy! Confusion also serves as a great way to create, or gather expanded abstract thinking. Abstract thinking that doesn't always make sense because that's what discovery is all about. Originality in understanding, and development can be hard to capture if all you do is to act on servicing imitation. I mean I could lie, and tell people what they want to hear but then I'd get so clusta-fucked that I might not be able to figure out where I'm going with my own ideas, because in fact I don't always know. That's the fun in the unknown. Trying to figure out the puzzle with pieces that don't appear to be three dimensional.

My brain works like the Heisenberg Theory of cerebral scatterings. I don't exactly know what it all means until I'm provoked to put it all together, and I still don't know until I spit out the old, and think about it some more. If I tried to make too much sense of anything I might miss something.
I just know I enjoy thinking about true mysteries about life, and it's not until I simmer those thoughts that I'm able to gather better understanding.
Why I do, or think the way I do, I don't know. I'm constantly trying to fool myself into not being aware of myself, because if I were aware of me being aware, I'd end up faking it just to fool myself.
HAH - that just made me laugh, but it's true....or so I think. Could be fooling myself. Don't know. I'll have to get back to you on that one later when more data can be confirmed.

I hate when I trick myself into thinking I know something I don't. Cerebral scatterings.

I'd like to think that I know how, or where the modern social psyche is headed. Thoughts linger in my brain, and it only seems that when I'm not focused on it that the idea becomes quite clear, upon later slow careful analytical thought....Or so I think..for now...

Why do I need to think I know where modern consciousness is headed? Don't know yet....Further thought is needed.
Could be something crazy. Maybe like if a world wide catastrophe occurs I might want to be ready to psychically know to duct for cover if it's the end of the world, which by the way is the stupidest thing ever...but it's there, and I also don't know why it's there since I don't want it.
The end of the world shit always makes me sick. I mean we've just managed to survived the Bush years with the fear pressure of terrorist knocking on our doors any minute. Fuck the end of the world bullshit. I don't want to think about it. More important mysteries yet to be solved, or pondered.
There is that stupid solar wave thing next year that could wipe out all electricity, but again that seems to be on the paranoid side from which I don't care to sink deeper into.
It was 2007, when I quit smoking, and didn't eat for a couple of days, and ate very little the rest of the week that I had what I think was my first clear awareness of extreme paranoia. It was the week when Rosie ODonnell said Building 7 was a controlled demolition, and I actually started to consider it. The whole Loose Change, 911 conspiracy crap actually made sense during that brief time, and trust me it still scares me that I could so easily weaken my body to a point that I could believe something so irrational.
It was a strange week, where I found myself watching movies thinking it was all connected. Very weird. Both a sense of heightened paranoia, and hyper sensitivity all wrapped into one. I attributed it to taking anti-smoking medication, not eating, very little sleep, and too much caffeine all within the same week.
Sometimes I wonder if we're intoxicating our bodies with so many different chemicals from food that it could be effecting the way we think, or develop but then maybe that's just the lingering reminisce of the paranoia. A lot of thoughts swim around in my head, and sometimes I know the most obvious, isn't always the answer. More lingering mysteries to solve...Joy!

As I grow older I'm becoming more aware of my own personal deceptions, and always trying to out maneuver my own sense of predictability. Dissecting what is fact from what is opinion, is becoming my new pastime, or rather more at the forefront than it used to be. Random Joe might say that the Earth was created in six days, and I say: "Buddy if it can't be proven in the same precise manner we test the temperature of heating needed to make water evaporate then it's probably just your personal opinion. - No offense, my friend." Opinions seem to almost always - ALWAYS - ALWAYS vary, and how much truth is within can be the most complicated obstacle to hunt down. All that we can do is surmise a volume to which degree is acceptable within the basis of information given. I'm so sick of people using their opinions as their source of proof. People so certain of something, sometimes scare the crap out of me. Show me all sides (even the bystander irrelevant info you thought I might not care to know), and I'll enjoy calculating the value of truth on my own, thank you. I don't mine using my brain. I rather enjoy using it, in fact. It is my OPINION that many people care not to use self deductive reasoning, to conclude a well gathered opinion while admitting that there might possibly be unseen additives still lurking about. Not acceptable, my dear Watson.

Perhaps I analyze myself, because frankly I don't trust anyone else to do for me. They might lie. Given their view of me with a short handed answer that doesn't fit. Tell me what I want to hear, so I don't have to think about it anymore, and I'll be forced to disregard it as yet more of my own history of feeble childish idiocies I file under: That Was My Week Of Stupid . I'll tell myself I'm smarter this week, and hopefully I'll manage to fool myself. But, that's never work.
Didn't I post about this already, but word it differently?

To Be Continued.......No not really