Since as long as I can remember growing up I was told that Jesus loves me, and about all of his stories. To this day I'm still surrounded by people telling me of his love, his sacrifice, and his wisdom. I'm told that if I pray to him that I'll feel his wisdom, and I will no longer feel lonely. That if I ask for him to come into my life, that he will make himself known. Perhaps after some tragedy, or some deadly medical condition I'll need prayer, and then he will grace me with his love, and guidance.
Well, for one thing, I feel lonely mostly because everyone I've known all of my life has talked about him so much. My Grandmother that died, wouldn't talk to me about anything but Jesus. My Mom also doesn't have much to talk about unless its Jesus and how much I should let him enter my life. Sometimes I feel lonely, and while casually surfing random images of women known & unknown of my Facebook, noticing that they're all thanking Jesus. They all talk about feeling fulfilled because they have Jesus in their heart. On my FB Jesus has all the single & married women's attention.
So now I must ask, what the fuck is this guy doing that he has all of the attention from so many women that surround my life? He must be a pretty fucking awesome dude. I get complaints for forgetting things sometimes, and maybe making mistakes, but this Jesus guy, I never see him around, but the women seem to love him, and credit him for everything. Am I jealous? Fuck yeah! Seriously, where is this guy, and what the fuck is he doing, to gather up all of the women's attention? Does he keep his belly button free of lint? Does he have minty fresh breath? Are his abs nice and tight? Does he always properly position the toilet seat & lid before & after he urinates?
Many people have told me that he sacrificed his life for our sins, but then he came back to life a few days later, so technically he didn't really sacrifice much since he was back on Earth 'pimpin' a few days later. Sure the beatings were rough, but he was supposedly completely healed a few days later. He had new clothes, sandals, and everything. I think some have said he was cleaned up too. Hair all neatly combed, and clean shaven.
I just don't know. As far as most women I've seen he is the Mac-Daddy of men, and yet I've never see him but in paintings, and statues. He doesn't seem to be much of a charming conversationalist, in my opinion. No one has ever even told me of any witty jokes he has ever told.
Anyways, my favorite drink is Monster Energy Killer-B. I absolutely love it more than any drink I've ever discovered. It tastes like no other energy drink. Sort of like lemon meringue pie or key-lime pie with a hint of powdered sugar & honey.The distributor Coke, has decided to stop stocking Killer-B. I think they're jealous. So 2 nights ago I drove all night to convenience stores from Houma, to Baton Rouge to find the last few chilled Killer-Bs on shelves. I think I stopped at over 20 stores. I asked Jesus to help me find some on the next 2 stops, but I didn't. It was about 4 or 5 stops later that did find 8 Killer-Bs. I abruptly told Jesus that I wouldn't talk shit about him anymore if I'd found some on the next stop, and I didn't so technically I can still talk shit about him if I want to. 4 or 5 later doesn't count, but I have to admit that at the 20th-something store, the last one I'd found them at I was getting very tired, and I was about to give up. Some might say it was luck, others might say it was divine intervention. I don't know. All that I know is that I love the drink, and like always if I love it I'll have to buy it online because my many pleas with store managers hasn't worked. Frustrating? YES!
So life goes on. Another cold Winter headed my way, and I'm feeling lonely surrounded by family all thanking Jesus. I swear I wish I had even a little of the attention this guy gets with the ladies. He is a lucky bastard.Well, for one thing, I feel lonely mostly because everyone I've known all of my life has talked about him so much. My Grandmother that died, wouldn't talk to me about anything but Jesus. My Mom also doesn't have much to talk about unless its Jesus and how much I should let him enter my life. Sometimes I feel lonely, and while casually surfing random images of women known & unknown of my Facebook, noticing that they're all thanking Jesus. They all talk about feeling fulfilled because they have Jesus in their heart. On my FB Jesus has all the single & married women's attention.
So now I must ask, what the fuck is this guy doing that he has all of the attention from so many women that surround my life? He must be a pretty fucking awesome dude. I get complaints for forgetting things sometimes, and maybe making mistakes, but this Jesus guy, I never see him around, but the women seem to love him, and credit him for everything. Am I jealous? Fuck yeah! Seriously, where is this guy, and what the fuck is he doing, to gather up all of the women's attention? Does he keep his belly button free of lint? Does he have minty fresh breath? Are his abs nice and tight? Does he always properly position the toilet seat & lid before & after he urinates?
Many people have told me that he sacrificed his life for our sins, but then he came back to life a few days later, so technically he didn't really sacrifice much since he was back on Earth 'pimpin' a few days later. Sure the beatings were rough, but he was supposedly completely healed a few days later. He had new clothes, sandals, and everything. I think some have said he was cleaned up too. Hair all neatly combed, and clean shaven.
I just don't know. As far as most women I've seen he is the Mac-Daddy of men, and yet I've never see him but in paintings, and statues. He doesn't seem to be much of a charming conversationalist, in my opinion. No one has ever even told me of any witty jokes he has ever told. 
Anyways, my favorite drink is Monster Energy Killer-B. I absolutely love it more than any drink I've ever discovered. It tastes like no other energy drink. Sort of like lemon meringue pie or key-lime pie with a hint of powdered sugar & honey.The distributor Coke, has decided to stop stocking Killer-B. I think they're jealous. So 2 nights ago I drove all night to convenience stores from Houma, to Baton Rouge to find the last few chilled Killer-Bs on shelves. I think I stopped at over 20 stores. I asked Jesus to help me find some on the next 2 stops, but I didn't. It was about 4 or 5 stops later that did find 8 Killer-Bs. I abruptly told Jesus that I wouldn't talk shit about him anymore if I'd found some on the next stop, and I didn't so technically I can still talk shit about him if I want to. 4 or 5 later doesn't count, but I have to admit that at the 20th-something store, the last one I'd found them at I was getting very tired, and I was about to give up. Some might say it was luck, others might say it was divine intervention. I don't know. All that I know is that I love the drink, and like always if I love it I'll have to buy it online because my many pleas with store managers hasn't worked. Frustrating? YES!
In the meantime, here's a song I dig....
If I don't blog again before...Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New year....
Bennet, I was just wondering if you were EVER coming back to blog land. Love your take on the Jesus by the way. I was tempted to say that women love him because he's not around to do a half-assed job cleaning the kitchen, but that was both lame and sexist and a little cliche to boot. I don't know. Explain that whole "faith" thing to me anyway.
ReplyDeletep.s. totally relate about loving a product and then it promptly disappears. Am I REALLY that different from everyone else?!?
great song. Now I'm going to buy the cd because I already liked that "My body" one.
ReplyDeleteEven if its cliché its still funny. I was thinking similar ideas, like how he doesn't have to deal with women getting crabby once a month.
ReplyDeleteI've been taught about the"faith" a long time, and still don't know how so many very intelligent people can give into a "spirit" in their mind, and that the reason to do good deeds is to be rewarded by being sent up to the clouds & happy playland heaven after you die.
I still don't get it. I do understand how people are taught to think it is the default, but I see it separating people from families, when they need them the most.
I still have 5 Killer-Bs left in the fridge. I'm drinking each one very slowly.
Thanks
because: death is still the most frightening thing we have to deal with, and ego does not hold with the idea of finality. Plus, life kind of bites, so why not create a reward for all this misery?
ReplyDeleteStill, I've always thought of religion as THE MATRIX, and the truth is ZION. To be plugged in would be much easier, but it wouldn't be TRUE.
But that's just me. I can't prove that I'm right or that I'm wrong. I'll just wait and see :)
I'm the same. I believe we're born with everything we need. Some more fortunate than others while some not.
ReplyDeleteEither way we are the product nature of our own environment.
Personally I believe it is healthier when people treat religion as a hope not as an absolute certainty.
Too often I see too many use it as a permission slip to hate others.
I don't mind other's thanking Jesus as long as they don't suggest I do. I've been traveling recently, quite a bit, to some sad places. I've yet to see him. I'm keeping my eye out though. I'll let you know if I find him.
ReplyDeleteNice piece, don't stop blogging - even if sparingly.
Sad places? I remember you mentioning that old plumber dude saying you were:" A little itty bitty thing", so I hope that your safety is a consideration where ever you're going.
ReplyDeleteYes, if you find him tell him I want his "Pimp-daddy" secrets. As a feminist aware person, I'd hope that you might consider how much ascendancy such devotion to him might influence those of your gender to be less independent.
And, yes..Thank you, I shan't & can't stop..