My friend G, and I met in Junior High School. He was a shy kid that sat behind me in biology mumbling incoherent jokes I couldn't understand without a frame of reference. We weren't friends yet, but at the time he was venturing out as naive teens do to mingle with the party crowd, and experiment with drugs I'd never imagined doing. We failed that year, and ended up alphabetically sitting in the same sitting arrangement the following year in another science class.
One day he called me up told me he'd gotten a joint, and I called another friend. I'd managed to get the car keys, and we drove to the sugar cane fields. It was one of those funny moments where after we shared puffs it was quiet as we drove out and we all abruptly burst into loud laughter, for no apparent reason. Suddenly everything was funny for no reason. Before we were worried about getting caught, and what each of us thought, but then didn't matter. That evening I drove us everywhere for no reason.
Now we're older adults most with families, but not me. G is now a local police officer, and a family man with his wife, and daughter. Strange seeing a friend who I'd once tried to dodge cops with is now a cop himself, but he's a good man always likable.
A few weeks ago, when we were all scared of being flooded there was a shooting in town. My friend G was an unfortunate first responder on the scene. Apparently a local fool in a jealous rage shot his ex-girlfriend, and himself at a local seafood restraint in the middle of the day. Extremely rare occurrence for the area. I suppose the mania of flooding could have led to crazy shit for crazy people. Who knows? Not I. G told me that when he'd gotten there the bodies were still twitching, suds pumping out of her chest womb, and their heads completely splattered like ground beef on the floor. He said he did his job focused on the task, but that it hit him later when he got home. He said seeing someone's brain got him thinking about how fragile life is. I told him I could never do that kind of work. Such sights would stay with me forever, and poison my brain for life. I could never fathom why someone would take their own life. I can't understand taking your own life over any one woman.
I've always seen life as fragile. Well, most of it. I guess when I was a kid sometimes I thought spirits watched over us making certain evils didn't happen. After my Dad died that all changed. Sometimes I feel something is watching me, but I can't describe it. I've been so lucky on so many jobs to avoid any damage.
The weekend before the shooting we were all worried about the possibility of flooding, losing our homes and people were getting happy appreciating what we had. I noticed extra complements from women at stores, and restraints, wondering if I looked cuter that weekend or if it was the Spring's yellow sunlight that made me appear more vibrant. There was a local Newscast in the town earlier that week before bragging that the cold strong winds in the middle of Spring was a sign that spirits were actually trying to keep the water flowing south away from our town. Then there was the shooting 3 days after that weekend, and the mood in the air abruptly changed. Was it just my imagination? I felt a sense that something had changed even before I'd heard about the shooting. An energy in the air. Even the bad energy brought on a sense that something was different. I don't know how to describe it. The uneasiness brought on something that I've felt before but only on rare occasions. We're all fleshy things with muscles & organs hanging on skeletons walking around thinking nothing is ever going to change, and when something does it can be felt in the air without even saying it. What is this feeling in the air that can't be explained? How is this possible? What is it?
One day he called me up told me he'd gotten a joint, and I called another friend. I'd managed to get the car keys, and we drove to the sugar cane fields. It was one of those funny moments where after we shared puffs it was quiet as we drove out and we all abruptly burst into loud laughter, for no apparent reason. Suddenly everything was funny for no reason. Before we were worried about getting caught, and what each of us thought, but then didn't matter. That evening I drove us everywhere for no reason.
Now we're older adults most with families, but not me. G is now a local police officer, and a family man with his wife, and daughter. Strange seeing a friend who I'd once tried to dodge cops with is now a cop himself, but he's a good man always likable.
A few weeks ago, when we were all scared of being flooded there was a shooting in town. My friend G was an unfortunate first responder on the scene. Apparently a local fool in a jealous rage shot his ex-girlfriend, and himself at a local seafood restraint in the middle of the day. Extremely rare occurrence for the area. I suppose the mania of flooding could have led to crazy shit for crazy people. Who knows? Not I. G told me that when he'd gotten there the bodies were still twitching, suds pumping out of her chest womb, and their heads completely splattered like ground beef on the floor. He said he did his job focused on the task, but that it hit him later when he got home. He said seeing someone's brain got him thinking about how fragile life is. I told him I could never do that kind of work. Such sights would stay with me forever, and poison my brain for life. I could never fathom why someone would take their own life. I can't understand taking your own life over any one woman.
I've always seen life as fragile. Well, most of it. I guess when I was a kid sometimes I thought spirits watched over us making certain evils didn't happen. After my Dad died that all changed. Sometimes I feel something is watching me, but I can't describe it. I've been so lucky on so many jobs to avoid any damage.
The weekend before the shooting we were all worried about the possibility of flooding, losing our homes and people were getting happy appreciating what we had. I noticed extra complements from women at stores, and restraints, wondering if I looked cuter that weekend or if it was the Spring's yellow sunlight that made me appear more vibrant. There was a local Newscast in the town earlier that week before bragging that the cold strong winds in the middle of Spring was a sign that spirits were actually trying to keep the water flowing south away from our town. Then there was the shooting 3 days after that weekend, and the mood in the air abruptly changed. Was it just my imagination? I felt a sense that something had changed even before I'd heard about the shooting. An energy in the air. Even the bad energy brought on a sense that something was different. I don't know how to describe it. The uneasiness brought on something that I've felt before but only on rare occasions. We're all fleshy things with muscles & organs hanging on skeletons walking around thinking nothing is ever going to change, and when something does it can be felt in the air without even saying it. What is this feeling in the air that can't be explained? How is this possible? What is it?
there seems to be a weird 6th sense thing that occurs at times that just has no logical explanation: like the time about a week before my mother died when I drove and parked my car beside a part of the cemetary I'd never parked next to, and noted the funny little spot, and then walked the good ways across to the grave of the sister I never knew. And then, when they were driving the little box that held what used to be my mother, I was and wasn't surprised that they drove to that spot where I'd parked just days before.
ReplyDeleteYes, life is indeed fragile. Good post.
Humans have untapped intuition, more than intuition really, a prognostication ability.
ReplyDeleteThanks Karen. I'm sorry that I haven't kept up. Yes, I too recall similar occurrences. It could be the whole relative time thing too. We still don't understand exactly how the fabric of the Universe is constructed. It is possible that time itself is in fact a fabric that bounces, and loops back on itself. So much that we still don't understand. Again, thanks.
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree Olivia. Like I mentioned with Karen, I believe there's simply structures of our reality that we do not understand. Sometimes I have strange thought experiments and I wonder, if it is possible that our entire solar system's time rate speeds up, and slows down, but for us we're never aware of the changes. I don't know what the point is of me thinking that, but that's what I'm trying to figure out. LOL...